Shattered
by Wine-into-Water
Summary: Bosco and Faith fic. Bosco blames himself after Faith is shot. Character Death STORY COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Still not sure of everyone who owns Third Watch so here are the usual suspects again, NBC, Warner Brothers and John Wells and a whole lot more.  
  
Authors note: Please bare with me on this one. I only started watching Third Watch at the beginning of this season so if I have gotten any of the history wrong please just go with it :) And I don't know all the codes and words for the cops and paramedics so you will notice a lack of them. :) and so far Fred is MIA have no clue why really I just haven't had the urge to put him in yet so for now he is just gone who know's where. We'll see what happens :)  
  
Feedback: please let me know what you think about this story, it's only my second fic and I'm usually more of a happy simple story person but I got this idea and thought I would try it. I guess we will see what happens. Constructive critisim is more then welcomed. Let me know if you think I should keep going with this story or just quit while I'm ahead.  
  
E-mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
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"Officer down, officer down! we need an ambulance fast! She's loosing a lot of blood! Hurry!......Serves her right for betraying me.....Go to hell Bosco......Maurice, I'm sorry man, I didn't know it was Faith.......Officer down, officer down! We need an an ambulance fast! She's loosing a lot of blood! Hurry!....Serves her right for betraying me......Go to hell Bosco......Maurice, I'm sorry man, I didn't know it was Faith" All the words of the day kept repeating in his head. He couldn't make them stop. It was like he was stuck in a room with no way out and the voices just got louder and louder.  
  
He sat there in the waiting room not sure how he got there and unaware of anything that was going on around him. Instead the voices got louder and the events of the day kept replaying in his head and every time he saw them they made him cringe.  
  
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"Ok Faith I did what you asked and I had an order made up for Boscorelli to see the shrink"  
  
"Thank you Sir, he really needs to talk this out with someone and he isn't talking to me about it"  
  
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Faith had went behind his back and got them to send him to a shrink. How could she do that? Why hadn't she trusted him to work this out on his own? It wasn't any of her business how he worked through it. He would work through it and he didn't need their help and after this he sure the hell didn't need hers.  
  
He had manage to avoid her in the locker room, the last thing he wanted was to be around her right now. When he went to roll call he saw her talking with Davis but noticed that Sully wasn't there. Which he thought was odd because Sully was never late. As roll call began he found out that Sully had taken the day off. So he had jumped at the chance to ride along with Davis. He took a look at Faith after he had done it and he saw a look of confusion and hurt on her face. Serves her right for betraying me he thought. Then he had a laugh when she had gotten paired up with Gusler for the day. Justice he thought.  
  
On the way out to the squad cars she had finally caught up with him. He felt her grab his arm and turn him around.  
  
"What's wrong Bosco?" she had asked with a look of worry on her face.  
  
"Oh nothing Faith, I just didn't feel like spending the day with a backstaber is all" he told her coldly  
  
"What? What are you talking about?"  
  
"I know Faith! I know you went to and got them to get me to see a shrink. How could you do that to me Faith? Huh? How could you?"  
  
"Bos I didn't mean to go behind your back but you weren't talking to me about it and you needed to talk to someone"  
  
"Why Faith? huh? Did you talk with me about your cancer? Or how about the baby, did you talk to me then? I seem to remember you saying you didn't want to bother anybody. Well the same goes for me"  
  
"This is different Bosco, you saw your friend get shot, you had his blood all over you."  
  
"How is that different Faith? I didn't pull the trigger. I didn't shoot him, but you, you went and killed your own child!"  
  
He knew he had went to far, he knew as he was saying it that it was wrong. He knew he should stop but he didn't and now it was too late. He couldn't take it back. He didn't know what made him say it, he had never held it against her for having the abortion. In fact he after some time he saw where she was coming from and had agreed with her reasons. He was hurt that she had lied to him about it but after thinking about it he had understood why she had. But he threw it in her face now just to hurt her, to get her back for going behind his back. It worked, he looked up at her just in time to see a single tear slide down her cheek. Her eyes were filled with hurt. He had never hated himself more then at that moment. Just as he opened his mouth to apologize, she had said the last words he would hear her say, "go to hell Bosco" then she turned and walked away never looking back.  
  
He had wanted to run after her and make everything all right between them. But he didn't. He didn't know why, maybe because he didn't have the slightest clue on how to apologize for being such a prick. He figured that he could come with an apology while he was on his shift, he would figure out away to make her forgive him ,he would fix this. As soon as the shift was over he would go and he would find her and he would apologize and they would talk things through and everything would be back to normal. Well that's what he had thought. But he was wrong. He had no way of knowing what the day would bring. 


	2. Chapter 2

Shattered  
  
Chapter 2  
  
He still sat there with tears in his eyes. Blood....her blood on his hands with those damn words going through his head "Officer down, officer down! we need an ambulance fast! She's loosing a lot of blood! Hurry!......Serves her right for betraying me.....Go to hell Bosco......Maurice, I'm sorry man, I didn't know it was Faith" Why wouldn't they stop? Why wouldn't they stop! He couldn't bare to hear them anymore. He couldn't bare to hear her cold hurt voice telling him to go to hell. It was killing him to know that the last time they had spoke he had caused her pain.  
  
He couldn't really remember anything about his shift. It had been pretty slow. Usually that would of pissed him off but today he welcomed it. He needed it to think and at least this way he knew Faith would be safe. He had been listening on the radio to hear what kind of calls Faith and Gusler were taking and their day had been just as slow as his and Ty's and he had been glad about it because he had started to worry about her being backed up by Gusler. But their shift was almost over and soon they would be back safe and sound at the prescient. The first thing he would do would be to fix things with her. He still couldn't believe he had said those things. Faith had been his best friend for years. She was the most important thing in his life. He would be lost without her. He couldn't let that slip away because he was hot headed and didn't always think things through.  
  
Just then he heard Gusler on the radio, they needed back up. A drug deal was going down. Bosco and Davis were only two blocks away so they took the call. He was worried that Faith and Gulser would try something before waiting for back up but then he remembered that Faith was the sensible one, She wouldn't go in without back up especially with a nervous rookie with her. Just as he convinced himself that she would be all right a panicked yell came on the radio "Officer down! Officer down! We need and ambulance fast! She's loosing a lot of blood! Hurry!" His heart stopped. Please no! Please no! It can't be her. Don't let it be her. But he knew it was because it was Guslers voice on the radio.  
  
They had just pulled into the ally and he saw her lying on the ground surrounded by blood. Gusler was with her pressing on her chest. Davis was on the radio with someone but he couldn't make out what he was saying, everything was muffled, everything was blurry. The only thing he did see was her covered in blood. He ran over to her and fell down beside her pushing Gusler out of the way and applying pressure to her wound. She had gotten shot at close range in the chest by the looks of it because the bullet had went through her vest.  
  
No matter how much pressure he put on it the blood just kept coming, staining his hands "Come on Faith, don't leave me please., please Faith I need you. I'm sorry Faith. I'm so sorry I never meant what I said. Faith come on stay with me" He said between sobs. She was pail and getting cold so he took of his jacket and covered her up and then went back to putting pressure on her.  
  
"Where the hell is that ambulance?!" he shouted.  
  
"It's coming around the corner" Ty replied.  
  
Just as he finished saying that the Ambulance had pulled in and Doc and Carlos had rushed to Faith. Davis had pulled him away so Doc and Carlos could do their job.  
  
"Is...Is she going to be ok Doc?"  
  
"It's to soon to tell. she doesn't look good but I think we got here in time. We will have to get her to the hospital soon as possible. She has lost a lot of blood"  
  
As he stood there watching Doc and Carlos working on Faith he kept hearing a muffled sound, a voice. He tried to concentrate on it, figure out what the voice was saying. When he finally did he heard it say  
  
"Maurice, I'm sorry man. I didn't know it was Faith"  
  
What? he thought to himself How does this guy know me and Faith? Then again he heard it.  
  
"I'm sorry man I swear I didn't know it was Faith"  
  
Then the meaning of the words hit him and he turned around to see who was saying them.  
  
"Mikey?"  
  
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To Be Continued if you think I should keep going. 


	3. Chapter 3

Shattered  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but here are a few who do, NBC, Warner Brothers and John Wells  
  
Authors note: Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words :) I was incredibly nervous about ever posting this story. I had started writing it before the Olympics and had the first two chapters done but only now I had the nerve to post it. Now I'm really nervous about this chapter, I think I left the other one off at a bad place because now all you guys are all waiting for this one :) So I hope I didn't completely goof up and this chapter is ok. Please keep in mind that this is only my second fic and that I only started watching TW this season. So any history I may mess up just roll with it please :)  
  
Feedback: Always wanted good or bad let me know what you think. and again if I should keep going with this.  
  
E-mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
Ok here it goes, hope you enjoy. :)  
  
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"Oh man I didn't mean too. You have to believe me Mo!"  
  
"What? What are you talking about? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I...I heard a noise and I panicked"  
  
"What do you mean? What did you do?!" He asked only now becoming fully aware of what Mikey was saying. He plunged at him knocking him down to the hard pavement. He grabbed his collar and started shaking him "What did you do?!"  
  
Davis noticed what was going on and he tried to pull Bosco off of Mikey but it wasn't easy. Finally he succeeded and got Bosco off of him.  
  
"Let me go man, I'm going to kill him!"  
  
Still fighting Davis's hold on him he screamed. "You shot her didn't you? You little son of a bitch! For What? Your damn drugs!"  
  
"It was an accident I...I didn't know it was her. I didn't mean to shoot her" Mikey said shakily  
  
"You didn't mean to?! She's lying over there bleeding to death Mikey! She's dying! and it's suppose to be ok because you didn't mean to?!"  
  
With strength he didn't know he had left he broke away form Davis and jumped on Mikey again. He threw a punch with his right that connected squarely with Mike's jaw.  
  
"Tell me what happened! Now!" He said as he threw another punch.  
  
"I...I"  
  
"Now damn it! Every last detail. Tell me how you almost killed my partner" Bosco screamed.  
  
"I was meeting some guys here"  
  
"You doing the buying or selling?" He ground out angrily.  
  
"I was selling some kids some stuff ....and I just finished when I heard this noise, I couldn't tell what it was and I panicked. I thought that it was maybe this guy thinking I was stepping on his territory again."  
  
"So what you just turn around and shoot?!"  
  
"He said he was going to kill me Mo if he ever saw me here again, I was scared. The last time he saw me here he beat me up pretty bad"  
  
"Yeah well that's the least of your problems right now because if Faith dies I'll find you and I'll kill you myself!" He said shaking him and then throwing another punch, this one cutting open his lip. Mikes blood was leaking out of his lip and it was a comfort to Bosco. He hated that he felt good by hurting Mikey and making him bleed but then he thought of Faith lying a few feet away bleeding to death and he wanted to do even worse but he managed to control himself.  
  
"He's lying" Said a scared quite voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
Gusler stood there with all the color drained out of him shaking. "He knew it was her....she.....she said his name before he pulled the trigger"  
  
Bosco felt like he had been punched in the gut. It couldn't be, Mikey would never shoot Faith if he had known, right?  
  
Gusler continued " We had seen the deal going down, It was him and four young people so Officer Yokas decided to call for back up because she didn't know if they would have weapons or anything. We stood over there beside the dumpster" with a shaky hand he pointed to a dumpster that wasn't to far away from where Faith still laid as Doc and Carlos were trying to stabilize her enough to be transported to the hospital. "We heard the muffled voices, then Officer Yo...Yokas swore under her breath, she said she knew the guy and that he shouldn't be a problem. She waited until the others left and then she stepped out from beside of the dumpster. She had told me to wait here. She....she put her gun back in it's holster and began to walk over to this guy."  
  
Bosco was trying to process this, he looked over to Faith and sure enough her gun was in her holster, she hadn't even been armed. Why would she be so stupid to put her gun away when approaching a suspect? Then he remembered she knew it was Mikey, why would she worry? She was probably going to try and get him out of here before I showed up. She wasn't thrilled the last time I arrested him.  
  
Gusler broke back into Bosco's thoughts "she had almost reached him when she must of stepped on something because I heard a cracking sound, like something breaking..... Then the rest happened so fast but yet it was kinda in slow motion. She....she had looked down to see what she stepped on I guess and she was doing that when this guy" he nodded over toward Mikey who still had Bosco on top of him. "He turned around and he already had his gun out and pointed at her. I called her to warn her as I drew mine, but I was too late" He said softly. "She...she looked up at him and I heard her say his name, she said his name just before he pulled the trigger. He heard her, I heard her." Gusler became quite as if he was scared to even say the next words "she....she flew back and landed on the ground blood was already flowing out of her, he dropped his gun and just stood there staring at her. Blood was all over in seconds and he just stood there!..... I called for the ambulance as I was running to her and I put pressure on the wound and then you and officer Davis showed up."  
  
Bosco's mind was racing it was too much to handle, the fact that Faith had been shot and was dying. He looked over at her again and saw her ghostly pale body just lying there drenched in bright red blood. The life draining out of her. And it was his brother who did it. His own brother was the one responsible for taking her away from him. But it wasn't until he heard the next words did he go completely numb and the rest of his world slipped away.  
  
" Doc! She's flat lining, I don't have a pulse!" 


	4. Chapter 4

Shattered  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: Same as always :) I still don't own anything :(  
  
Authors Note: Sorry for the delay with this chapter I just couldn't get it to where I wanted it so I did a rewrite. I'm still not 100% pleased with it but it's better then what it was, hopefully :)  
  
Feedback: Yes please! Pretty please :) Let me know what you think, good or bad.  
  
E-Mail - Farewellparty@yahoo.ca  
  
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"Doc! She's flat lining. I don't have a pulse!"  
  
He didn't remember anything after that. He had shut down, his heart stopped and he couldn't breath, everything was spinning, fuzzy, muffled and blurry. He couldn't remember what happened to Mikey. He didn't remember getting to the hospital and he wasn't even sure that they had gotten Faith here in time. He had guessed they did because he was sitting in the waiting room and the gang was scattered about. Talking with each other and every once in awhile whispering and giving him a sympathetic look.  
  
That was the last thing he needed. What he needed was to scream to yell to hit something or someone, wreck something, drive too fast, something, anything he needed the pain to stop even if it was for a minute. He needed to forget the words she told him when he last spoke to her. He needed to forget that look she had on her face when the tear slid down her cheek. He needed to forget how cold she was getting when he found her, he needed to forget how pale she looked with all that blood around her. What he really needed was her. Faith would be the one he would go to in a situation like this. He didn't always open up to her about every thing and things has been strained a bit lately between them but when he needed reassurance when he needed to know the world was still turning he went to her. She was his life line. She was his best friend, he didn't know how he would have ever lasted as long as he did with out her. He never imagined he would ever have to find out. He had promised himself years ago that nothing would touch her, he would watch out for her and keep her safe. That he would always protect her. But this time he had failed. She was in the other room fighting for her life because of him. His own brother shot her. If he wouldn't have been so hot headed they would of been patrolling together and Mikey would never have gotten the chance to get close to her never mind shoot her.  
  
Mikey shot her? He still couldn't understand that. Mikey had admitted to shooting her but he had insisted that it was a mistake that he didn't know it was her but Gusler said that Mikey had known, that Faith had called Mikey before he pulled the trigger. Why would Gusler lie about something like that? He had no reason to. It wasn't his fault that she was shot. He wasn't covering for himself. But if he wasn't lying then that meant Mikey was. That meant that Mikey stood there, looked Faith in the eye, knew it was her and pulled the trigger. Mikey couldn't have done that, could he? He wasn't perfect but there was no way he would stand there and shoot someone he knew, right? Maybe Gusler just read the situation wrong. Maybe Gusler thought that Mikey had enough time to react after Faith had said his name but what if he didn't, what if he had already started to pull the trigger and couldn't stop? That could be it, right?  
  
"Bosco......Bosco?"  
  
"Huh? What?" He said startled because he was lost in thought about the situation.  
  
Davis let out a sigh of relief "Hey Bos don't you think you should get cleaned up? Sully stopped by the prescient on his way over and grabbed some cloths out of your locker"  
  
"No, I'm fine. I want to wait here for news on Faith"  
  
"Bosco the bathroom is just over there if the doctor comes out I'll go and get you right away. okay?"  
  
What was the big rush for him to get cleaned up he was fine but he didn't want to argue so he nodded and grabbed the bag that Davis was holding and walked to the bathroom. When he got there he went to undo the buttons on his shirt, that is when he noticed his hands again. They were still covered in her blood. He rushed to the sink to wash it off but it seemed no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't leave. He scrubbed and scrubbed and it wouldn't leave. It was stuck there taunting him. All the memories came rushing back full force, "Serves her right for betraying me.....go to hell Bosco..........I swear I didn't know it was her.........He's lying.....He knew it was her....Blood was all over in seconds and he just stood there!..... Doc! She's flat lining. I don't have a pulse!"  
  
He looked up into the mirror. It was his fault, it was always his fault. He had been such a jerk towards her lately and still she tried to help him through all the shit he was going through but all he did was push her away. Well this time he had pushed her to far because this time she walked away and never looked back. How could he have thought and said those things to her.... What if he never got the chance to apologize.... What if she hated him.... What if she wouldn't forgive him... What if he lost her....  
  
He got a sick feeling, He took his fists and smashed them into the mirror shattering it, but it wasn't good enough so he did it again and again, blood streaming out of his hands from cuts, he threw things around the bathroom until he just stopped. He backed into the corner of the bathroom and slid down the wall crying. What if he lost her? How could he go on without her? How could he go on knowing that she hated him in the end. That he let her down. That he had failed to protect her. How was he ever going to look Emily and Charlie in the face again after he let their mother get killed. That he wasn't there to protect her because of his foolish pride. If he would of been with her tonight then he would of been the one who walked up to Mikey, He might have gotten shot but it wouldn't have been her, She would have been safe and she would have been going home to her kids instead of laying on the cold pavement with the life draining out of her.  
  
He had finished crying awhile ago but he still sat there watching his hands bleed and every time the blood would start to stop he would hit the wall to start them again. He had too. It was the only thing he could do to make the pain go away, to somehow put himself in Faiths place. He knew the two didn't compare but it was something. Besides his blood was covering hers that he thought he still saw on his hands and he figured if he bled enough he wouldn't be able to see hers anymore. It was worth the try.  
  
He had no clue of how long he had been sitting in the corner of the bathroom when he heard the knocking.  
  
"Yeah, What?"  
  
"Bosco are you ok? You've been in there for over an hour."  
  
Am I okay? No I'm not okay! I'm loosing the one person that means the most to me and it's my fault. How can they ask if I'm okay?  
  
"Yeah I'm fine. I'll be out in a few minutes"  
  
"Well a nurse just came out and she said that the doctor would be out to tell us what is going on in a few minutes"  
  
"Okay. I'll be right there"  
  
He stood up and surveyed the damage he had made. He went to the sink and washed his hands again and this time the blood left, he still thought he saw a hint of hers but the cuts in his hand helped cover it up. There were some deep cuts but nothing he couldn't handle. He got changed into his grey t-shirt and jeans. Put his bloodied uniform in the bag and left the bathroom. When he got out he saw the gang standing with a doctor. Kim and Alex had tears in their eyes. His mind told him what he didn't want to hear. That she was gone but he wouldn't believe it until he heard it from the doctor, so with all the strength he could find he made the long walk to the doctor. It seemed like miles when actually it was only a few feet away.  
  
"Doctor....is she okay?..did...did she make it?" 


	5. Chapter 5

Shattered  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Disclaimer: Nope still don't own a thing :(  
  
Authors Note: Thank you again for all your kind and encouraging words :D Well I felt guilty for taking so long with the other chapter and then apparently leaving off at a bad time so here is this one. Hope you enjoy. BTW I have no medical background what so ever :) Keep that in mind. Oh and I tried to figure out away to end this one with a cliff hanger and I did manage to find away but I thought I would play nice this time :) But I can't say I'll do it again ;)  
  
Feedback : As always yes please! Good or bad.  
  
E-Mail : Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
Ok and now back to the story :)  
  
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He felt a chill run through his body. His knee's went weak. He needed to sit down and let this sink in. He took a few steps to the nearest chair and sat down. He put his head in his hands and let out a sigh.  
  
She had pulled through. She had made it through the surgery. He couldn't remember ever feeling as relieved as he did right at this moment. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of him. He felt calmness wash over him.  
  
The doctor had went on to describe what they did and the extent of her injuries but he barely heard a word past her pulling through. He did manage to hear that the next 24 hours were critical. That there was still a chance of loosing her. But he wouldn't except that, she had made it this far so she would make it the rest of the way.  
  
He let out a small smile as he thought to himself that the reason she fought so hard to stay with them was so she can kick his ass for being such a jerk. Well that was fine with him, he would take anything she could dish out. As long as she came back to him and didn't leave him.  
  
"Can I see her?" he asked interrupting the doctor who was busy answering the others questions.  
  
It's not like he didn't care about what the doctor was saying, he did. He just needed to see her. To see for himself that she was okay and safe. He needed to hold her hand and feel his world start turning again. He needed to know that everything would be fine. Well there still was Mikey to figure out but that could wait. The most important thing right now was to see her.  
  
"Well Mr. Boscorelli she is in ICU and we only let family members in there to visit the patients,"  
  
Bosco felt a wave of anger rush over him. There was no way in hell that they would stop him from seeing Faith. He stood up and started toward the doctor, he felt someone grab his arm. He was about to start yelling his case when the doctor continued.  
  
"But since Mrs. Yokas has you listed as her next of kin then you will be able to go and visit and sit with her if you would like too. I apologize to the rest of you though because until she is moved into another room in a few days you are unable to go in and see her."  
  
"So can I go in and see her now?'' Bosco asked irritated  
  
"They are still getting her settled into the room, They have to check her vitals and change her IV but it shouldn't be much longer. A nurse will come out and get you when you can see her."  
  
"Thanks" he muttered as he sat back down to wait.  
  
Sully sat down beside him and gave him a reassuring smile. "We were worried for nothing. We should of known that it would take more then this to keep her down."  
  
Bosco smiled back and said "Yeah if she managed to put up with me all these years, huh?"  
  
Sully started laughing.  
  
"Hey Bos, I didn't want to bother you with this before we knew about Faith and get you worried more but we can't find Fred. We have tried everywhere but we just can't find him."  
  
"It doesn't matter. He never has to find out about this. Got it?"  
  
"But Bosco he's her husband. He has to know."  
  
"Look he's gone okay, and if he knows what's good for him he wont be back. So quit looking!"  
  
"But....."  
  
Bosco gave Sully the look of death and Sully stopped what he was about to say. He was getting angry with Sully and his persisting about Fred. Faith hadn't told the others what happened with her and Fred and he wasn't about to be the one to tell them either. It wasn't any of their business anyway.  
  
"Mr. Boscorelli you can go in and see her now if you would like." A nurse said as she walked towards them.  
  
"Thank you I'll be right there." Turning his attention back to Sully he said "Look Sully I mean it, Fred doesn't need to be found it would only make things worse for Faith. So if he shows up here and I find out you or any of the others had anything to do with it then you'll have me to answer to, got it?"  
  
Bosco could tell that Sully was confused but he also knew that Sully would understand and just go along with him on this one.  
  
Sully nodded his head and said "You got it Bosco, you probably know more about it then I do. What about the kids? Where are they?"  
  
"They are over at the neighbors and they're fine, I called them and checked up on them. She said she would be more then happy to look after them as long as needed." With that he got up and went in to see Faith.  
  
He slowly walked up to her taking in how she looked. She looked like she had been to hell and back and she had been. She still looked so pale and she had tubes everywhere. She was on a ventilator to help her breath. She had a heart monitor hooked on her to. Bosco was comforted by the steady sound of her pulse. It was the best thing he ever heard. He went to pick up her hand but he dropped it right away like he had been burned. He stepped back a little.  
  
The nurse touched his arm "I'm so sorry I should of warned you, she is cold but it's perfectly normal after the surgery she went through. Her body temperature will be back to normal in a little while. She's fine, no need to worry."  
  
Bosco just nodded at the nurse. He couldn't get over the shock of feeling her hand that cold. She wasn't even that cold in the ally and she was so pale it was like seeing her.....dead.  
  
He shook it off or at least tried to and he grabbed her hand again and held it in his. He stood there for at least and hour just staring at her listening to the monitors that assured him that she was fine. That she would be fine. Finally he pulled up the chair next to her bed and sat down. Never letting go of her hand. He sat there for another hour before he felt his hand get squeezed, he looked up to see her eyes flutter open and shut right away. The doctor had warned him that she wouldn't be fully awake till late afternoon but that she might wake up very briefly before then.  
  
Still holding her hand, he laid his head on the side of her bed and fell asleep. He slept through the what was left of the night, morning and most of the afternoon.  
  
He woke up to hear one of the monitors alarms going off, he felt her moving, squeezing his hand as hard as she could like she was panicking he looked up and saw that she was awake and her eyes were full of fear. She pointed to her ventilator and tried to pull it out. He stopped her just in time. The nurse ran in and tried to calm her down telling her that she just had to relax and to breath in time with the ventilator. Looking in Bosco's eyes the whole time, she listened to the nurse and slowly calmed down and did as she was told. Sure enough her breathing became normal.  
  
Bosco was also trying to get his breathing back to normal. The ventilator alarm had scared him. He automatically thought the worse when he heard it. Remembering what the doctor had said about the first 24 hours he thought that he was loosing her again.  
  
He took a good look at her and she looked better then the night before, she was getting her color back and she was warmer now.  
  
Now was the hard part, now he had to apologize for the things he did and said. He prayed that she would find it in her heart to forgive him but he would understand if she didn't. It would wreck him if she didn't but as long as she was alive and well then that was all that mattered. He would figure away to go on with his life without her being apart of it. If he had to. 


	6. Chapter 6

Shattered  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Disclaimer: Same as always I don't own a single thing concerning Third Watch but if I ever do you'll be the first to know :)  
  
Authors note: I had to make up some history for the story. I hope you all don't mind. This was a tough chapter to write I hope I have the characters acting believable under the circumstances.  
  
Feedback: Wanted badly. Let me know what you are thinking good or bad.  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
Hope you like it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After her scare with the ventilator the doctor had wanted to examine Faith. He said it would take awhile so Bosco took this time to go and tell Emily and Charlie what had happened. He never even thought about telling them the night before, and when he did think of calling Betty to see how the kids were doing she told him that she just told them that they were to stay there tonight because Faith wasn't going to be home. They didn't think anything of it because Faith and Bosco would work a double shift at times so it was nothing unusual. Betty had asked him if he wanted her to tell them or if he would. After thinking about it he decided he should be the one to tell them. After all it was his fault that Faith was in this mess in the first place. They would be getting home from school soon so he left the hospital with strict orders that if anything at all changed with Faith to call him immediately.  
  
When he reached Faiths apartment building it took everything he had to get out of the car and to go into the building. But he had to do it. He owed her that much so he slowly left the car and walked up the stairs to Betty's apartment and knocked on the door. Betty answered it with a smile.  
  
"Hello Mr. Boscorelli, the kids just got home they are having snack. Why don't you come in?"  
  
"Hi Betty and I told you before it's Bosco. and if you don't mind I would rather tell the kids over at Faiths"  
  
"Oh of course I understand. I'll send the kids over right away."  
  
"No rush let them finish their snack first."  
  
"Ok then they should only be a few more minutes."  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Bosco walked down the hall to Faiths apartment he dug out his key from his pocket and unlocked the door and walked in. He took a deep breath maybe it was a bad idea to tell the kids here he thought as he walked to the couch and sat down. It was hard being here knowing that there had been a good chance the night before that Faith may have never stepped into this room again.  
  
He sat there for a few minutes trying to figure how to tell Emily and Charlie about what had happened but no matter how many times he said it in his head he knew it sounded awful. There was no good way of telling them that their mother had been shot and she had almost died. He was hoping that they would take forever to finish their snacks, because this was just to hard to do.  
  
While waiting he started to look around for something to bring Faith. That's when he spotted the picture he had taken a few years ago. He had taken Faith and the kids to the park for an afternoon. Fred had been drinking again and it was taking it's toll on Faith so on their day off he showed up with a huge picnic basket and some toys for the kids and they spent the afternoon in the park. They had a great time. They had spent hours there and just before they came home he got them to pose for a picture. Faith was in the middle with her arms around both of the kids. The picture had turned out great so when he got it back he had it enlarged and gave it to Faith for a present. She had loved it. Her face had lit up when she saw it. But what Faith or anybody else didn't know was that he had also had a smaller copy made for himself and he kept it in his wallet. He had never taken it out. He had always wanted to remember that day because he treasured it. It ended up being one of the best days in his life. Faith had been so warn out and depressed over Fred and his drinking but he had made her smile and laugh and have fun. He never had those kinds of days with his family growing up. He would have given almost anything for just one memory like that from his family and even though Faith, Emily and Charlie weren't technically his family he had thought of them as his family. He would do anything for them. He would of given them the world if they had asked.  
  
That was the day that he started actually hating Fred. He had never been a big fan of Fred's, they never had gotten along but it was that day that he realized just what an idiot Fred was. Here he had a strong, beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman in love with him, two terrific kids that thought the world of him and he just took it for granted. He just sat there and drank his life away and put them through hell. Fred didn't deserve them. Sure he had his good days but in the end he didn't deserve them and he proved that a month ago. It took Bosco all he had not to kill Fred or at least beat him senseless. He remembered that night he got a phone call from Faith it was almost 3:30 in the morning and she had sounded like she had been crying.....  
  
"Hi Bosco" Said two happy voices as Emily and Charlie walked through the door.  
  
"Hey guys, how have you been?" Bosco replied tying to sound cheery  
  
"I'm good but school sucks" said Charlie  
  
"Same here, Hey where's mom isn't she with you?" Asked Emily with concern in her voice.  
  
Well it was now or never so Bosco took in a deep breath and said. "Why don't you guys come sit on the couch I have to tell you something."  
  
Both kids slowly walked to the couch and sat down. Both were looking concerned.  
  
"Where is she? Where's my mom?" asked Charlie getting scared.  
  
Emily just sat there looking at Bosco she knew something was wrong but was scared to ask what because she was scared to know the answer.  
  
"Emily, Charlie I don't know how to tell you this so I'll just say it ok. Your mom is in the hospital she was shot last night but she is doing ok the doctors said that she should be fine but it's going to take awhile." He didn't want to lie to them the doctor had said she should be fine so he left out just how close she had came to dying they didn't need to know that.  
  
Both kids were crying. Emily had tears running down her face but Charlie was sobbing. Bosco leaned over and hugged him.  
  
"It's going to be ok Charlie, don't worry. She'll be ok. She'll be back here before you know it." He said trying to sound reassuring.  
  
"Can we go see her?"  
  
"Not yet, she needs to rest a little but as soon as you can I'll come and get you guys, Promise" He could have taken them down today to go and see her but he didn't want them to see her with all those tubes sticking out of her she looked so helpless and an image like that would haunt them forever even after she had gotten better and things were back to normal. They would always have that image in there heads. He couldn't do that to them. It was already his fault she got shot. He wasn't going to be the one to do this to them.  
  
"How come she got shot? Where were you?"Emily asked coldly  
  
Bosco was shocked by the question. He started feeling sick again. "I....I wasn't with your mom last night. I was riding with someone else."  
  
"Why? You're suppose to be with her. You're suppose to make sure she stays safe and she's suppose to make sure you stay safe. So why is she in the hospital and you're here? Why weren't you there to protect her?!" Emily asked accusingly  
  
Her words were cutting him like a knife. Why wasn't he there to protect her? Why wasn't it him instead of her? It should of been him. He knew it. If he would of just swallowed his pride and let Faith help him none of this would have ever happened. Faith would be fine and she would be here with her kids and he wouldn't be here staring into two teary eyed faces.  
  
"I don't know why Em. I should of been there for her but I wasn't. I'm sorry Emily I should of kept her safe." Bosco looked down ashamed at himself.  
  
"Yes you should have, you promised remember?"  
  
"Em I'm..."  
  
Emily cut in "I want to see her! I want to see her now!"  
  
"Em you can't not yet."  
  
"Why not we'll be quiet, she can get all her rest. I just want to make sure she's ok. I just want to sit with her for a few minutes. Please." Emily pleaded.  
  
This was killing him but he couldn't let them see her like she was so he stuck to his guns. "Em you and Charlie can go in a couple of days but not right now. Okay?"  
  
"Why not?!" Then as if something had dawned on her she said "She's bad isn't she? You're not telling us everything, If we can't see her that means she's really bad isn't she?!"  
  
This just kept getting worse and worse. "Emily she was hurt pretty bad and she needed surgery and it took a lot out of her. But she'll be fine. She just needs her rest." He was hoping he was sounding convincing.  
  
"You're lying! There is more to it that you're not telling us!"  
  
This was getting to him. Yeah there is, there's a chance she could still die is that what you want to hear? Well he knew he couldn't say that so he tried to comfort Emily he went to hug her with his free arm because he still had Charlie in his other arm, he was still crying and holding on to Bosco for dear life. Emily's yelling at Bosco was scaring him. But Emily shot up from the couch.  
  
"Don't touch me! It's your fault! It's all your fault! You should of been there protecting her! Now she's in the hospital hurt so bad that you don't think we should see her!"  
  
"Em listen..." he went to grab her hand to calm her down.  
  
She jerked away "Stay away from me and stay away from Charlie! I never want to see you again! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" With that she grabbed Charlie's hand and tore him away from Bosco and left. Slamming the door behind her.  
  
Bosco just sat there looking at the door. A tear rolling down his cheek. He never thought it would end up like this. He never thought Emily would act like that. But if Emily acted like that and she didn't know half of the truth how did he ever expect Faith to forgive him knowing all the truth. Knowing that it was Mikey that shot her, that it was because of him she was even there and that it was him that said those things to her before the shift. She would never forgive him ever.  
  
He picked up the picture he had been looking at before and he stared at it. He had lost them and it was all his fault. He threw it all away. Who was the idiot now?  
  
He was shaken out of his thoughts with the ringing of his cell phone.  
  
"Hello Mr. Boscorelli this is the hospital we need you come down here right away" 


	7. Chapter 7

Shattered  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Disclaimer: We all know I don't own anything concerning it :(  
  
Authors note: Please remember I have NO medical background. So just roll along with it please :)  
  
Feedback: Pretty please :)  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He came crashing through the front doors and rushed to the nurses desk.  
  
"What's wrong with her? Where is she? Is she ok?"  
  
"Calm down sir. Who are you looking for?"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me! Yokas, Faith Yokas, I got a call to come down here right away."  
  
"Mr. Boscorelli it's ok she is fine." Said the doctor from behind.  
  
"What?!" He felt a rush of relief and anger wash over him at the same time. "If she is fine then why the hell did you tell me to get down here right away? Do you realize what I went through to get here this fast? I ran through I don't know how many lights, I almost pegged off some old lady with a walker, it's a good thing she hopped out of the way in time or else you'd be scraping granny bits off my car right about now."  
  
The doctor just stood there and looked at him.  
  
"You don't call someone who's best friend is lying in ICU fighting for her life and tell them to get down here if there is nothing wrong....Hello?"  
  
"Yes Mr. Boscorelli?"  
  
Oh my god! This guy was just to much.... Breath Bosco, Breath he heard Faiths voice in his head..... If I manage not punch this guy before Faith gets out of here they should give me a medal.  
  
"Faith, what is wrong with Faith? Why did you call me down here?"  
  
"Bosco what's wrong?"  
  
He turned to see Davis and Sully run in.  
  
"That's what I'm trying to figure out but genius here isn't being too helpful. Hey how did you guys know something was wrong?"  
  
"We were turning on to the street when you sailed through that last light. When you didn't try to dodge that old lady who by the way was yelling some very colorful things at you." Sully said with a smirk. "We figured something was wrong."  
  
"I was over at Faiths. They called me down here and I still haven't found out why." Bosco said giving the doctor a dirty look.  
  
"Well Mrs. Yokas was asking for you. She was getting very irritated about it. So to calm her down we called you."  
  
"That's all?! Faith wanted to see me so you scare me to death? Faith gets irritable it's part of her charm it's nothing to worry about....Wait did you say Faith was awake and that she asked to see me? Can I go in and see her?"  
  
"Not right now"  
  
Breath Bosco, Breath he told himself as he felt his hands clinching into fists. "So let me get this straight, Faith wanted to see me so you call me and tell me to get down here right away, I speed down here causing people to run for their lives and now you say I can't see her?!"  
  
"I would like to discuss Mrs. Yokas's condition with you first. It's rather important."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Well first we took her off the ventilator. Her lungs are fine they were not damaged at all. We just had her on it for as precautionary measure. She does however have an oxygen mask that she can take off and on as she needs it. But my concern is her heart."  
  
Bosco, Sully and Davis all gave each other a worried look.  
  
"Her heart took a lot of damage when she was shot. The bullet nicked one of the arteries which is why she lost so much blood so fast. I'm still amazed she made it." After seeing the look Bosco was giving him he continued "Her heart was weakened to a dangerous level. We expected it to start improving a bit by now but it hasn't. We are very concerned about that."  
  
"When you say dangerous levels just how dangerous?" Asked Sully  
  
"Well I'm afraid that at this point, at any given moment her heart can give up on her. and if it does we are not sure that we could bring her back. It's just too weak."  
  
"Will it get stronger?" Asked Bosco trying to get rid of that sick feeling that crept back on him.  
  
"It should, it's just a matter of time, but time is also the enemy in this case, the longer it takes for her to get stronger the more chance of her heart failing."  
  
"I want to see her now." Bosco needed to see her now. This was just getting to much to handle.  
  
"Sure go right ahead. If you have any questions I'll be around" Said the doctor as he gave what was suppose to be a reassuring smile but Bosco saw it as a smile full of pity. One that you give when you know that only bad things are coming.  
  
"Hey Bos before you go, I have news on Mikey." Said Sully  
  
"Is he still in jail?" Bosco asked flatly.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Then that's all I need to know right now" Bosco started to walk to Faiths room then he turned to Sully and said coldly. "Make sure he stays there." then he continued on his way. 


	8. Chapter 8

Shattered  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Disclaimer: Same as always.  
  
Authors note: Surprisingly I have nothing to say :-) Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
  
Feedback: Always wanted. Let me know what you think please.  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.com  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He walked into the room and up to her bed. He picked up her hand and whispered "Faith" but he didn't get a response. She was sleeping again. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down still holding her hand.  
  
She was going to be ok, she had to be. He had to believe that if he was going to keep functioning. Not that he was doing such a bang up job with that right now anyway. He had blown it with the kids, there had to have been a better way of telling them about Faith. Maybe then Emily wouldn't have taken it so hard. Then there was Mikey, he hadn't even called the station to see what was going on with him. Sully had wanted to tell him something about him, hopefully it wasn't important. That's what he should be focusing on, Mikey. He should be finding out the truth. A part of him was scared to. A part of him was telling him that Gusler was telling the truth, that Mikey shot Faith on purpose. How was he going to handle that? It was just too much. All of it was just too much to handle right now. Then there was Fred, Sully could have found him. Then what? Why wasn't paying attention. Fred here was the last thing Faith needed. He had to start thinking with his head instead of his heart. He had to become the tough strong Maurice Boscorelli again and not this guy who's heart stopped every time his phone rang, or when the doctor or nurse walked in his direction, or jumped every time the monitors made a different sound. Instead of being weak and lost he had to be strong, he had to be strong for her. He had to fix this. If Mikey did do this on purpose then he would make him pay at any and all cost.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
Still nothing. It didn't matter anyway, he wasn't going anywhere until she had waken up and he had a chance to apologize for everything.  
  
"I'm a mess Faith" He knew she couldn't here him but that was ok, he just had to say it, tell her how he felt. It was probably better she couldn't hear him. " I have never felt so lost, even with all the the shit I've been through. I've never felt like this.....I almost lost you Faith and it was my fault, how am I suppose to come back from that? I need you in my life.....I know I might not tell you that everyday or maybe ever but it's the truth.....I need you. You are the one sure thing in my life. No matter what I do I know you'll be there to pick up the pieces. You're always there. If I need someone to talk to you're the first one I go to..... I can't loose you Faith....I just can't"  
  
He squeezed her hand and rubbed his thumb over it.  
  
"I messed up pretty big this time didn't I?....This....you lying here it's my fault. I knew you were only trying to help but I pushed you away anyway. I was mad at you because you didn't realize that you were already helping me by just being there, by sticking by me. I didn't need to talk it out. I was good just knowing you were there if I needed you but when you went behind my back to get me to talk to that shrink I felt betrayed....like you didn't want to be there for me anymore. I know it was stupid but it's what I felt. So I tried to hurt you...and I did. I'm sorry Faith I never meant what I said. I swear I didn't. I felt awful when I said it and I was about to apologize when you told me to go to hell and then I saw that tear slide down your cheek...."  
  
He shook his head to try and get the image and memory out of his head. But he couldn't. He hated that memory. It was like a twisting knife every time he saw it.  
  
"I'm the one who got you shot. It was all me. If I wouldn't have been so stubborn, if I would of stayed with you instead of riding with Davis you would be fine. Hell we wouldn't have been in that section anyway. What were you doing there? You know there is never any action in that part. Haven't I taught you anything? We stick Davis and Sully with the shitty calls, We wait for the good ones. We play super cop remember?...Ok fine I play super cop and you are my trusty side kick getting me out of the messes I get into." He gave a faint smile remembering all the times she got mad at him for doing just that. Playing super cop and not thinking.  
  
"I wasn't there Faith....I didn't protect you....I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry"  
  
"Bos will you shut up already. I'm trying to sleep here."  
  
He shot his head up and looked at her. She was grinning at him.  
  
"Faith?" He was so happy to see her awake and hearing her voice.  
  
"Yeah, who else would it be?" She asked still grinning.  
  
"How long have you been awake?" He was worried what she had heard. He didn't want her to hear all of that.  
  
"I've been awake since you said my name, I was going to say something but you wouldn't let me get a word in. Some things never change." She gave him another smile.  
  
"I didn't want to apologize like that. I didn't mean for you to hear all that." he said looking down.  
  
"Bos you have nothing to apologize for. It wasn't your fault, any of it. You couldn't have changed anything."  
  
"Yes I could have. I could have been there, I should of been there, I should of been the one to walk up to Mikey."  
  
"Bosco quit it! It wasn't your fault. I'm not going to let you sit here and blame yourself."  
  
"I wasn't there Faith! I should have been. I should of kept you safe."  
  
"It doesn't matter. You're here now, that's what matters."  
  
"I didn't mean what I said before the shift. I...."  
  
"Bos it's over okay? forget about it. I know you didn't mean it. It's fine."  
  
"How is it fine? How do you just let it go like that?"  
  
"We fight Bosco, it's nothing new and we always get back on track, it's no big deal."  
  
How did she do it? How was she always so calm, sensible and reasonable? She always amazed him. She might have not blamed him for any of it and he was glad for that, He didn't want to loose her over this. But that didn't stop him from blaming himself. No matter what she said, it was his fault. But he would fix it. He promised himself that.  
  
"Thank you Faith"  
  
She gave his hand a squeeze and smiled at him.  
  
"Hey Bos, what happened to your hands?"  
  
She must of spotted or felt the cuts on his hands from the night before.  
  
"It's nothing, No big deal I just um dropped something and I cut myself picking it up." That wasn't even believable to him. What a stupid excuse, his hands were covered in cuts there was no way he got that by picking something up, but he wasn't going to tell her the truth about it. He didn't want her to know just how lost and weak he had gotten. It was bad enough the others had caught a glimpse of it. He wasn't going to let her see him like that. He was going to be strong for her.  
  
"I went and seen the kids earlier" He said trying to change the subject.  
  
Oh much better subject to bring up Bosco, tell her how you broke their hearts and how Emily blames you and never wants to see you again. Why don't you ever think before you say something?  
  
"Are they ok? Where are they?" She asked with concern.  
  
"They're fine. They are over at Betty's. She says they can stay there as long as they need to."  
  
"Do they know?"  
  
"Yeah they know." He said softly.  
  
"Bos what's wrong?...Is Fred back?"  
  
"Huh? What? No, no Fred isn't back. As far as I know nobody found him. Sully was looking but I stopped him. He shouldn't find out....Unless you want me to find him and tell him?"  
  
"No Bos I don't need him here. We're better of without him....If it isn't Fred then what's wrong?"  
  
"It's nothing Faith, it's nothing."  
  
"Bos"  
  
Boy was she stubborn. Why couldn't she let things go. He must be wearing off on her. "The kids took it pretty hard...especially Emily." He said remembering 'It's all your fault! I hate you! I hate you!'  
  
"Are they ok? Is she going to be fine?  
  
"Yeah they'll be fine" If they never see me again he thought. "I told them that I would bring them down to visit in a couple of days. I thought it might be better if they didn't see you with all these machines hooked on. It might scare them."  
  
"Yeah you're probably right. I'll call them later and let them know I'm fine."  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Do you remember what happened when you were shot?" He didn't plan on bringing it up right away but he had to find out.  
  
"No, not really." She said quickly.  
  
"I don't believe you Faith, You remember don't you?"  
  
"It's nothing Bosco, Let it go."  
  
"Let it go?! How can you say that?! You almost died, you still...." He caught himself in time "I can't let it go Faith."  
  
"Bosco..."  
  
"You remember it was Mikey right?.... Faith answer me!"  
  
"Yeah I remember it was Mikey." She said softly.  
  
"Gusler thinks he knew it was you when he shot you, Is that true?"  
  
"It happened so fast he couldn't have known." She said quickly.  
  
She was too quick with her answer, like she was covering for him.  
  
"Faith tell me the truth. Look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't know!"  
  
"Bos it's over let it go. I'm going to be fine."  
  
"Faith!"  
  
"Look Bos..."  
  
"You can't do it, can you?" He felt sick to his stomach. "He knew it was you! Gusler wasn't lying , He knew it was you!" He said more to himself then her.  
  
Faith didn't answer him she just looked down.  
  
"That little son of a bitch! He swore he didn't know. He looked me in the eye and swore it. I was standing there covered in your blood watching you die and he swore it!....He didn't even try to help you, he just stood there." He said remembering what Gusler had told him.  
  
"I'm going to kill him Faith." He said coldly and dropped her hand and stormed out of the room.  
  
"Bosco wait! BOSCO!'' 


	9. Chapter 9

Shattered  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Disclaimer: NBC, WB, John Wells and a whole bunch more own Third Watch.  
  
Authors Note: I would just like to say sorry to all you Mikey fans but someone had to be the bad guy and push Bosco over the edge and since I have only seen Mikey in two episodes it was easy to make him the bad guy. So hopefully I'll still have some readers at the end of this chapter....if not it was fun writing this fic :-)  
  
Feedback: Always wanted good or bad.  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca (don't be afraid to use it :-) )  
  
Ok on with the story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He calmly walked into the station, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He continued up to where they were holding Mikey. He was in a cell all by himself, shooting a cop often awarded that kind of attention. When he got there he noticed Mikey laying on his cot sleeping. He couldn't imagine how Mikey could be sleeping after what he had done.  
  
He walked up to the officer who was working at the desk, who luckily for him was a rookie. Rookies were always easier to intimidate. Bosco flashed his badge and in a voice that was hard and icy he told the officer to "disappear"  
  
Slightly shaken by the coldness in Bosco's voice the officer just sat there.  
  
"Now!"  
  
The officer stood up and gave some feable excuse about having to leave and left.  
  
Bosco grabbed the keys off the desk and opened the cell. He threw the keys back on to the desk and walked in leaving the cell door slightly ajar. He walked over to Mikey and pulled him off the bed. Mikey might have been coward enough to shoot Faith when she was unarmed but Bosco was going to give him full chance to defend himself before he kicked his ass.  
  
Mikey fell hard to the floor. Startled by what happened he jumped up and backed to the wall.  
  
Bosco continued towards him feeling nothing but anger and hatred. He had never felt this way before about anybody. Day after day he saw the worst of the worst, rapist, killers, molesters but none of them had ever managed to invoke this kind of feeling in him. A hatred so strong that he was cold inside. He never would of believed he would feel this way towards his own brother but he did. How could Mikey have done it? Shoot Faith after realizing it was her and just stand there while she bleed to death. He knew Faith, how could he do it?  
  
He had almost reached Mikey when Mikey started to laugh, a real laugh. Not one out of fear or nervousness but a real laugh. Bosco stopped in his tracks. 'What the hell was he doing? How could he possibly laughing after what he did?' Bosco felt a chill run through him. 'What the hell was wrong with Mikey?'  
  
Bosco had been so shocked by Mikey's reaction that he didn't notice Gusler sneak into the room and stay by the door watching everything that was about to happen.  
  
"You talked to her didn't you? Why else would you be here looking like that?" Mike said as he nodded towards Bosco.  
  
Bosco just stood there starting at him. He had no clue what was up with Mikey but it was something he had never seen in Mikey before. It was scaring him.  
  
"What's wrong Mo? You looked confused. Something bothering you?....I think I know what it is. You talked to Faith and she had some interesting things to say about me didn't she?....Well Mo you're disappointing me, aren't you going to ask why I did it? What was I thinking? I dare you to ask.... come on be a good boy and play this game with your little brother, it'll be fun." Mikey's voice was normal, his tone condescending.  
  
Bosco still couldn't believe what was going on, He just couldn't figure it out. This wasn't the Mikey he knew. He didn't recognize this man in front of him. Mikey might have been a lot of things but he wasn't this, he wasn't a cold blooded killer. Was he?  
  
"Ask!"  
  
"Why?" Bosco asked.  
  
"Well because of you of course. Gee you aren't as smart as you thought you were, are you? If you couldn't figure that one out."  
  
"Because of me?" Bosco asked feeling a chill and sickness flow through him.  
  
"Well yeah, What better way to get to you? You act like you're untouchable, like we are all beneath you. The great Maurice Boscorelli, No worries, no cares, cold as ice well with everyone and everything except for her. Hell you even threw your own brother in jail didn't you?....but this, this bothered you didn't it?" With a smirk Mikey continued "You should of seen yourself when you saw her lying there, like your world was fading away....aw poor Mo, was that what it was like? Huh?"  
  
"You bastard! You sick son of a bitch! You did this, you almost killed her to get back at me for throwing your ass in jail?" He started towards Mikey again.  
  
Mikey jumped out of the way "What do you take me for? Do you think I'm crazy? Would I shoot someone just because you threw me in jail? Give me some credit. No, this was for everything."  
  
"Everything? What fucking everything?! What could I have possibly done for you to do this?"  
  
"Uh-uh no changing the game, we weren't finished yet. I still need to tell you what happened. Don't you want to know what happened when I shot her? Don't you want to know about the look of fear I saw in her eyes when she knew I was going to pull the trigger? Or how about the sound she made when she hit the ground, you know the loud lifeless thud. Or maybe you might want to know how the blood started slowly flowing out of her, staining her cloths and forming a puddle on the ground. But that's all I could tell you because you got there to see the rest. The color draining out of her and her warm body starting to get cold. You felt it didn't you? You felt her drifting away and there was nothing you could do about it. Not to much in control then where you?"  
  
"Shut up! Shut up you sick son of a bitch!"  
  
"You know I didn't plan on it, never even thought about it till then. It just kinda happened. I didn't see her until I heard that cracking sound and when I turned around and she was there. I did take my gun out because I was scared that that guy who almost killed me before would come back. I wasn't lying about that but you didn't care did you. Whatever shit I got myself into I could get myself out of, right? Anyway there was Faith just standing there looking at me, I never had anything against Faith, she's always been nice to me but hey you win some you loose some, right? Isn't that your attitude? You know she didn't even have her gun drawn, not very good police work is it? I was about to put my gun down when she said my name and in that split second I saw you finding her seeing her hit the ground and what it would do to you. So I pulled the trigger. She was only a couple of feet away, the bullet ripped through her vest and she flew back and hit the ground. I expected you to come running from somewhere, but you didn't did you? You weren't even there. That other cop was. Why weren't you there? Why weren't you there protecting your partner huh?"  
  
Bosco was going numb. How could Mikey have done this? He had been right from the beginning it was his fault that Faith was shot, all his fault. Mikey did it because of him. To get back at him. He had used Faith and he wasn't there to protect her. He might as well have pulled the trigger himself.  
  
"You want to know what the best part was? Come on I know you want to know....Ok fine I'll tell you anyway. You running to her, falling down beside her crying doing all you could to help her but knowing you couldn't do a damn thing. I didn't know you could actually care that much for someone, It was quite the learning experience...I had you believing it was just an accident too didn't I? Until that damn cop opened his mouth but maybe it's better this way to see the look on your face knowing it was your fault, you were the reason she got shot and it was your own loving brother that did it, priceless."  
  
"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" Bosco asked quietly.  
  
"It's more what you didn't do. You never cared what was going on with us unless you could ride in and play the hero. ma get's beaten up by her boyfriend well here comes Mo in to the rescue. I start dealing, well here comes Mo the super cop to arrest me. All our lives it's been like that. You never cared about anything. Except you your damned job and Faith."  
  
"That's not true, you know I would do anything for you and ma."  
  
"Is that right? Then tell me why did you let dad in all those times huh?"  
  
"That's not fair."  
  
"That's not fair? What's not fair is that ma got all those beatings because you were to stupid to leave him outside. You would think you would have learned but nope. You saw what happened and you would do it again."  
  
Bosco had enough he couldn't take it anymore, he stormed up to Mikey and grabbed him by the throat, holding him up against the wall. Using all his strength he began to squeeze harder and harder. Mikey was gasping for air, struggling hitting Bosco with his arms drawing some blood but Bosco didn't flinch. He just stood there squeezing harder and harder. Mikey's gasps were getting fewer in between, his eyes were bulging, his color getting paler and his struggling had died down.  
  
"BOSCO! BOSCO!"  
  
He felt strong hands pull him away from Mikey. Mikey hit the floor grabbing his neck and gasping for air. He turned around to see Sully and Davis. Sully had been the one to pull him off of Mikey. He began to back away. What did he do? He almost killed his brother with his bare hands if Sully wouldn't have gotten there in time, he would have. What was happening to him? He had gotten Faith shot, ruined what relationship he had with Charlie and Emily and now he almost killed his own brother.  
  
"Bos what happened? What's wrong?" Davis asked.  
  
"He shot her because of me.... He did it to get back at me." He managed to get out.  
  
Davis and Sully both looked at Mikey with a look of hatred and disbelief.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?!" Asked the captain walking in and seeing Mikey on the ground still gasping for air and Bosco with cut's on his face that were bleeding.  
  
"Boscorelli?!"  
  
"I...I..."  
  
"Officer Boscorelli had come by to talk to his brother, I came in here to get Mr. Boscorelli for some more questioning when I was called away for a moment. Bosco offered to take him down for me when he went in to get Mr. Boscorelli, Mr. Boscorelli jump him. Bosco was only defending himself sir."  
  
The captain looked around the room and noticed Gusler by the door.  
  
"Were you here when it happened, When did you get here?"  
  
"I arrived here right after Officer Boscorelli sir."  
  
Bosco, Davis and Sully looked at each other none of them had noticed Gusler standing by the door until now.  
  
"Well then is that what happened?" 


	10. Chapter 10

Shattered  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Disclaimer: NBC, WB, John Wells and others own Third Watch. I own nothing, I merely borrow and play with the characters for a little bit.  
  
Authors note: I never thought I would get to a chapter 10 :) Thank you for all your support and encouraging words :) It is greatly appreciated. Hopefully you are still enjoying the story.  
  
Feedback: Nothings changed I still want your feedback good or bad.  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He stood there waiting for Guslers response. He knew that in a few minutes his career would be over, okay maybe not over but tarnished to say the least. It didn't matter anyway, everything was falling apart what was another thing on the list? He was surprised by the way he was thinking. He never gave up that easy before. He always fought, but this was all too much. It was getting to him, breaking him. He didn't like this weak out of control Bosco but he couldn't change it. He tried, he tried to be strong and not let all this get to him but he couldn't. He just wasn't strong enough to fight it. He was ashamed of himself, he should be better then this. But being ashamed of himself only added fuel to the fire.  
  
"Well is that what happened?"  
  
Bosco was shaken back to reality. Gusler still hadn't answered the Captain. He was just standing there looking at Mikey, who was still catching his breath and holding his throat but there was something in his eyes a look of confidence as he looked between Bosco and Gusler.  
  
Bosco knew Mikey was right. He didn't expect Gusler to back up Sully's story. He had worked with the Gusler a few times, He was a nice kid. Not that he would ever admit that to anybody. But he was honest to a fault. Most rookies were. They still believed that they could change the world. Make it a better place. It was a nice dream. Bosco use to have it once. But after time you saw too much, you saw wives bail out there husbands who just beat the shit out of them. You saw rapist and molesters get out of jail on parole after serving hardly anything. You saw killers get off on technicalities. That's when reality set in. You couldn't change the world, you couldn't make it a better place but if you were lucky and having a good day maybe you could prevent it from getting any worse. Maybe.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I walked in just after officer Boscorelli finished opening the cell door. He walked in to get the prisoner and the guy lunged at him, knocked him down. Officer Boscorelli got up and held him against the wall to restrain him and that is when officer Sullivan and Davis arrived. That's all that happened sir." Gusler said never taking his eyes off of Mikey.  
  
Bosco looked at Sully and Davis he could tell they were as surprised as he was that Gusler had went along with the story. He didn't even stumble with it. He just said it matter of fact.  
  
The Captain excused Gusler, Sully and Davis and then called Bosco out into the hallway.  
  
"Boscorelli"  
  
"Yes sir" Bosco replied looking at the floor.  
  
"I know you have been through a lot lately, especially in the last day but don't let this happen again. Next time I won't be able to ignore the obvious."  
  
Bosco looked up surprised by what he had just heard, "Yes sir, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."  
  
"It's understandable. How is Yokas?"  
  
"She's doing better. The doctor is still concerned about her heart but if she gets her rest he seems to think she'll be fine."  
  
"That's good to hear. Yokas is a fine lady and a good cop. Now why don't you get out of here. I don't want to see you back anytime soon. Go home get some rest, spend some time with Yokas and forget about this place. It's the best thing you can do for yourself right now.  
  
"I'll try sir." With that Bosco walked away and went to the locker room to find Gusler. He wanted to thank him for backing up Sully's story and saving his ass.  
  
He walked in and looked around but there wasn't anybody in there. So he sat down on one of the benches and waited. After a few minutes he looked up and realized he was sitting in front of Faiths locker. He sat there and stared at it thinking about how long it would be before she was back here getting ready for work. Riding with him. Till things were back to normal.  
  
"Why?....Because of you of course. What better way to get to you?"  
  
He put his head down and closed his eyes as he remembered the words and saw last nights events replay over in his head. Things would never be normal again. No matter how hard he tried things could never be normal again. He would always remember it was his fault. He was the whole reason Faith was shot and if that wasn't enough he wasn't there for her when she was shot.  
  
He stood up and went to Faiths locker and hit it hard. A couple of the deeper cuts on his hand had began to bleed again when he did that. When he saw his blood he automatically flashed to her laying on the cement, blood flowing out of her. "the blood started slowly flowing out of her, staining her cloths and forming a puddle on the ground....her warm body starting to get cold. You felt it didn't you? You felt her drifting away and there was nothing you could do about it. Could you?" No there wasn't anything he could do about it then but there was something he could do about it now. He would never be the reason she got hurt again. Never.  
  
He remembered thinking in the hospital that if she never forgave him and she was out of his life that he would be ok if she was alive,safe and happy. If she was those things somewhere in the world then he could live with out her. It would be the hardest thing he ever had to do but it would keep her safe from him. Nothing would ever touch her again because of him. That's all that mattered.  
  
He was about to leave when Gusler walked in.  
  
"Gusler I wanted to talk to you if you have a minute?"  
  
"Sure, What is it?"  
  
"I uh I just wanted to thank you for what you did back there....and for being there for Faith. You probably saved her life." He said quietly.  
  
"Don't mention it. I was so scared when I saw her get shot. I think I was just doing everything on auto pilot, it was just reflex."  
  
"Well maybe it was but you were there for her and that's what counts"  
  
"Thank you. But don't thank me for covering for you. Faith has always been kind to me. I couldn't imagine anybody wanting to hurt her. After hearing what your brother said to you, I wanted to kill him myself. I've never felt like that before, I never thought I could....I wasn't going to stop you, you know. I saw what you were doing and all I could think was it served him right"....'serves her right for betraying me' Bosco gave his head a slight shake......"So backing up officer Sullivan's story was nothing." With that Gusler walked past Bosco and went to his locker.  
  
Bosco looked back at him. He's already seen to much. He thought to himself.  
  
He walked out of the room. He was going to swing by his apartment and then go by and see Faith.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He stood there at the foot of her bed watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful and innocent lying there. He wanted her to stay that way so he knew he was doing the right thing.  
  
He didn't know where he was going yet but he knew he couldn't stay here anymore. It was for the best. He knew he wouldn't always be able to protect her but this was the last time she would ever get hurt because of something he did or didn't do. She was better off without him. They all were.  
  
He had turned around to leave. He was going to say good bye but he decided a clean break was the best. He had taken a step towards the door when he heard her.  
  
"Don't think about it Boscorelli. I'm not letting you leave here."  
  
Surprised he turned around and said, "How do you do that?"  
  
"I'm a mother it's a super power we get." She gave him a sleepy grin.  
  
He went and sat down on the chair beside her bed and held her hand.  
  
"You were going to leave, weren't you?"  
  
"Come on Faith you know me better then that. I wasn't going anywhere."  
  
"I may be lying here doped up on meds Bos but don't play me for a fool."  
  
"Faith I wasn't. I..."  
  
"We know each other to well Bos, we can tell what the other one is thinking. It's one of the reasons we works so well together. Well that and I'm the only one that can put up with you for more then five minutes." She gave him another grin.  
  
Bosco couldn't help but smile, She could always manage to do that to him no matter how bad his day was. It was short lived when he remembered his reason for coming.  
  
"Faith I know you don't think this is my fault but you didn't hear him. Mikey...he said he did this because of me....to get back at me Faith." He said almost to himself. He felt Faith squeeze his hand.  
  
She didn't say anything for a minute. Then she said, " So what, because he said you were the reason you're going to run. It's not you Bosco."  
  
Why was she making this so hard? "It will keep you safe. It'll..."  
  
"Bosco listen to me, he won't come after me again."  
  
"No but someone else might and what if I'm not there again Faith? I'm not going to let you get hurt again. I owe you that much."  
  
"What you owe me Bos is to stay here and be my friend. To help me get better and out of this place. I need you here Bos. I can't do this by myself. That's what you owe me, Nothing else. You can't watch over me twenty four hours a day."  
  
"Maybe not but this will keep you safe. I know it Faith. Trust me on this."  
  
"I can't trust you on this because it's not right. You're wrong this time Bosco. You're wrong!"  
  
"Faith listen..."  
  
"What if Fred comes back and you're not here?"  
  
He had never thought about Fred coming back but he didn't think he was stupid enough to ever come back.  
  
"Sully knows to be on the look out for Fred."  
  
"Bos" Faith began but quit. The heard monitor was beginning to beat faster.  
  
"Calm down Faith. Relax you're getting to excited." Bosco said full of worry. Standing up 'Just something else you did. Couldn't have just left could you?' He thought to himself.  
  
"Why don't you go back to sleep Faith. You need your rest."  
  
"Will you be here in the morning?"  
  
"Sure I will." He tried to sound convincing.  
  
"Promise me Bos. Promise you'll be here when I wake up."  
  
He had never lied to her about something this big before. It killed him to do it but it was for her own good he thought.  
  
"I promise Faith." he gave her hand a gentle squeeze  
  
With in ten minutes she was sleeping soundly and her vitals were back to normal. He was still standing beside her bed holding her hand. He bent down and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, gave her hand a gentle squeeze and put it down beside her. He looked at her and whispered. "I'm sorry Faith....I'm sorry."  
  
He walked out of the room never looking back. He went down to the parking lot and got in his car and started it. He looked up to her room that was on the second floor. "Good bye Faith." He slipped his car in reverse and backed out. Then he peeled out of the lot screeching his tires.  
  
"Good bye Faith." 


	11. Chapter 11

Shattered  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing! Just borrowing Bosco for a little bit :)  
  
Authors Note: Ok well here it is, I did something a little different with this chapter, hopefully it works and comes across like I intended. Now for the song that is stuck in Bosco's head, it's Rascal Flatts "I'm moving on" It may not fit perfectly with the chapter but some parts did and I needed a song stuck in Bosco's head so you got that one :) To make it less confusing I put the song in these ~*~ Hope you like this chapter.  
  
Feedback: You know I want it :)  
  
E-Mail: Farewellparty2002@yahoo.ca  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
~*~  
  
'I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons  
  
Finally content with the past I regret  
  
I found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
  
For once I'm at peace with myself  
  
I've been burdened with blame  
  
trapped in the past for to long  
  
I'm moving on'  
  
~*~  
  
He sat there staring out of the window humming that stupid depressing country song he got stuck in his head over at the truck stop. He was pretty tired. He had been driving all night but there wasn't anyway he could sleep. He was trying to decide if he made the right choice. He thought he did, he was pretty sure he did, didn't he? It didn't matter anyway it was to late to turn back now. What was done was done. Now he just had to live with his choice and hope he made the right one. He sat there trying to convince himself he did make the right choice but he still wasn't sure.  
  
~*~  
  
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces  
  
Each one is different but they're always the same  
  
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it  
  
They'll never allow me to change  
  
But I never dreamed home would end up were I don't belong  
  
I'm moving on  
  
~*~  
  
Everything was still so clear to him. He wondered if he would ever forget anything that happened these last couple of days. He didn't think he would but he hopped it would become fuzzier. He didn't need to be reminded of it everyday. He had to move on. He had to be strong, right?  
  
"Officer down, officer down! We need an ambulance fast! She's loosing a lot of blood! Hurry!"......"Doc! She's flat lining, I don't have a pulse!" He shuddered at those words again. He had been through a lot in his life, more then most but when you added it all up those were some of the scariest words he had ever heard. As bad as they were they still weren't as bad as seeing her lay there, blood surrounding her, her getting paler and paler, colder and colder...."Don't you want to know about the look of fear I saw in her eyes when she knew I was going to pull the trigger? Or how about the sound she made when she hit the ground, you know the loud lifeless thud. Or maybe you might want to know how the blood started slowly flowing out of her, staining her cloths and forming a puddle on the ground.....you got there to see the rest. The color draining out of her and her warm body starting to get cold. You felt it didn't you? You felt her drifting away...." He had to stop this he had to block it out somehow, he had too but the harder he tried the more they came. With every memory he second guessed his decision.  
  
"Maurice, I'm sorry man, I didn't know it was Faith.....Oh man I didn't mean too. You have to believe me Mo!....It was an accident I...I didn't know it was her. I didn't mean to shoot her....He's lying, He knew it was her....she.....she said his name before he pulled the trigger....You remember it was Mikey right?.... Faith answer me!....Yeah I remember it was Mikey....He knew it was you!....It happened so fast he couldn't have known" It took him awhile to figure out why Faith would cover for Mikey after what he did but then it hit him, to protect him, to save him from knowing the truth and having to live with the guilt, from having to deal with the fact that his little brother was capable of something like that. She was always thinking of him. Trying to help him. He was returning the favor now, he was protecting her, wasn't he?  
  
"Well because of you of course.... Because of me?..... Well yeah, What better way to get to you?.....It's your fault! It's all your fault!.....I never want to see you again. I hate you! I hate you!" How could he have let this happen? He should have seen it coming. shouldn't he? There must of been something that clued into this right? Why wasn't he paying attention? If he was maybe this could all have been avoided. Well he was paying attention this time and he wouldn't let anything like this happen again.  
  
"Why weren't you there? Why weren't you there protecting your partner huh?....I expected you to come running from somewhere, but you didn't did you? You weren't even there.....How come she got shot?.... Where were you?....You're suppose to be with her....You're suppose to make sure she stays safe....Why weren't you there to protect her?...you promised remember?" He remembered and he was keeping his promise, He was going to protect her, keep her safe this time. This time he would, he was sure of it. Well almost sure.  
  
"I'm a mess Faith.... I have never felt so lost, even with all the the shit I've been through. I've never felt like this.....I almost lost you Faith and it was my fault, how am I suppose to come back from that? I need you in my life.....I know I might not tell you that everyday or maybe ever but it's the truth.....I need you. You are the one sure thing in my life. No matter what I do I know you'll be there to pick up the pieces. You're always there. If I need someone to talk to you're the first one I go to..... I can't loose you Faith....I just can't....I wasn't there Faith....I didn't protect you....I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry.....Bos you have nothing to apologize for. It wasn't your fault, any of it. You couldn't have changed anything.....Yes I could have. I could have been there, I should of been there.....It doesn't matter. You're here now, that's what matters." He felt sadness shoot though him.  
  
"So what, because he said you were the reason you're going to run. It's not you Bosco....It will keep you safe. It'.. I'm not going to let you get hurt again. I owe you that much....What you owe me Bos is to stay here and be my friend. To help me get better and out of this place. I need you here Bos I can't do this by myself, That's what you owe me, Nothing else....this will keep you safe. I know it Faith. Trust me on this....I can't trust you on this because it's not right. You're wrong this time Bosco. You're wrong!" Was he wrong? Or was leaving the smartest thing he had ever did?  
  
"Will you be here in the morning?....Sure I will....Promise me Bos. Promise you'll be here when I wake up...I promise Faith..." He had never broken a promise to her before, well aside from this whole mess that is. Was he going to start now?  
  
"I should have known she would run to you, Maurice Boscorelli her fucking knight in shinning armour. Her hero....For the life of me I can't see what she see's in you. You're like some kind of God in her eyes. You can never do anything wrong, for some stupid reason she believes in you. She needs you. She lives for you!" Some hero he turned out to be. For the life of him he didn't see what Faith saw in him either but she must have seen something or why else would she have stuck with him all these years right by his side. Always. Did she need him? He needed her there was nothing he was more sure of. Her believing in him was the greatest gift he ever had in his life but was it worth risking her again?  
  
~*~  
  
I'm moving on  
  
At last I can see life had been patiently waiting for me  
  
And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone  
  
There comes a time in everyone's life when all you can see are the years passing by  
  
And I've made up my mind that those days are gone  
  
~*~  
  
He pulled out his wallet and flipped to the picture of Faith and the kids, his "family". Everything he did was for them. They meant everything to him. Everything was about them. It didn't matter what he was going through, that this was killing him. He had to think of them first. They always came first, nothing was going to change that. He was fed up with the weak and broken Bosco It was time to be strong, time to do the right thing. He may not have been sure about much in his life but he was sure about this. He had made the right decision. He wasn't turning back now. He owed it to her.  
  
~*~  
  
'I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't  
  
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town  
  
I've loved like I should and lived like I shouldn't  
  
I had to loose everything to find out  
  
maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down the road  
  
I'm moving on  
  
I'm moving on  
  
I'm moving on'  
  
~*~  
  
"You're still here?!"  
  
"Of course I am," he said getting up from his chair by the window and holding her hand "Where else would I be?" 


	12. Chapter 12

Shattered  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, NBC, WB and John Wells have the pleasure of calling Third Watch there's.  
  
Authors note: Ok I fooled around with the history again, not much though. :) Just enough to work with :) I use to be worried with goofing with it but then it hit me "Hey this is fanfic land and I can do what I want"....what can I say I'm a slow learner LOL!  
  
Side note: After watching "Falling" a whole bunch of times (more then I should admit :) LOVED the ending! ) I realized I can't possibly wait to watch the first two seasons on A&E. So if you or you know of someone who has episodes from the first two seasons and come to think of it most of the Third season (only started watching around Dec.) That they would be willing to dub (I would pay all costs of course) then PLEASE let me know. You can e- mail me at my addy down below. Thanks.  
  
Feedback: Pretty please :)  
  
*NEW* E-Mail: Wine_Into_Water@hotmail.com  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Of course....where else would I be?"  
  
Where else would he be? He tried to leave he really did. He drove about three hours out of town and wanted to keep going but after he had stopped in at that truck stop for some gas it was hopeless he knew he belonged here with her. There was no place else he could be. That stupid song was playing and it got him thinking and if that wasn't convincing enough when he went to pay for his gas he saw the picture in his wallet and he caved. He jumped back into his car and drove as fast as he could back here. He wanted to keep his promise and be here when she woke up. He made it with about half an hour to spare. It seemed like one of the longest half hours in his life, sitting there by the window second guessing if he had made the right choice in coming back but he did. He realized that now, and if that picture didn't clinch it, seeing her wake up smiling because he was still there cemented the whole thing. He belonged here, there was no where else he could be. No where else he would rather be.  
  
How could he have thought that leaving would protect her? Now that he looked back on it he saw that it was a horrible idea, nothing good could have came from it. She could still get hurt maybe not because of him next time but he still wouldn't have been there to protect her. He thought leaving would do that but it wouldn't. All it would do would leave her all alone with no one to protect her. Then he would have lost there friendship even if he would have came back later on she would never have forgiven him for leaving her after he had promised not to. Plus he needed her more then she ever needed him so maybe he came back for purely selfish reasons. If anyone was going to help him get through this it would be her. She always managed to show him the way and this time wouldn't be any different. They would help each other through this. He was sure of it.  
  
"Bos you look tired, didn't you sleep?"  
  
"No, not really. But it's fine, don't worry about me." he said with a reassuring smile.  
  
"Bos?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How far did you get before you realized you couldn't live without me?" She asked with a grin.  
  
"What?"  
  
She gave him a teasing look.  
  
He sighed, how could she always read him so well. He couldn't read her that well. It was getting annoying. "I was a couple hours out, and for the record I didn't come back because I couldn't live without you, I came back because you wouldn't have been able to live without me." He finished with a grin.  
  
"Yeah you just keep telling yourself that Boscorelli."  
  
They both started to laugh.  
  
It was good seeing her like this. It was almost like the last few days didn't happen. According to the doctor her heart still wasn't getting any stronger but it wasn't getting any weaker either so that was a good sign. They just had to tough this out and before they knew it she would be fine. He hoped.  
  
"How did you know that I left? Did you wake up during the night?" He was worried that she would say yes. He didn't want to have upset her during the night.  
  
"Naw I slept like a log. They must have put something in the IV but you looked so determined last night, I've seen that look before Bos and it never goes away until you finish what you are so determined to do."  
  
"I'm sorry for worrying you Faith, I guess I just needed some time to think things through."  
  
"It's fine Bos don't worry about it. You're here aren't you?...Bosco can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Anything, just name it."  
  
"Quit apologizing for everything, it doesn't become you. It's kind of scary actually, seeing you like this." she gave him a grin.  
  
"You got it. It does feel weird always apologizing. it's just not right." He said with a mischievous grin.  
  
They continued to talk and tease each other for another hour or so, then the nurse came in with what was suppose to be lunch but it looked more like puppy chow. Well if you used your imagination it could have been baby food.  
  
"What is that?" Bosco asked disgusted.  
  
"I'm not quite sure but thankfully it tastes a little better then it looks...you want to try some." She put a little on her fork and lifted up towards him.  
  
Pulling back and raising his hand he said."No thanks I'm fine. I'll just take your word on it....How do they expect you to get better with them feeding you that crap?"  
  
"Oh come on Bos it can't be any worse then your cooking and look at you, You're doing fine." She said with a huge smile  
  
"Ha ha ha, very funny Faith. Really I'm laughing on the inside."  
  
Faith finished her lunch and they continued to talk for a few minutes when he noticed she was starting to look tired.  
  
"Faith you should get some rest." He stated with concern.  
  
"Yeah maybe just a little, Why don't you go home and get some sleep too, You look worse then I do."  
  
"Gee thanks Faith, But maybe you're right. Are you going to be ok here? Because I can stay, it's no big deal."  
  
"Bosco quit worrying I'll be fine. I'll see you tonight?"  
  
"Count on it." He said with a smile and kissed her forehead. He waited until she fell asleep then he went home.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He was walking up the stairs to his apartment thinking it felt good to be home. All he wanted to do was sleep for a bit. He hadn't really slept since Faith was shot. He had drifted off to sleep a couple of times but it was always an uneasy sleep. He wasn't fooling himself he knew not everything was ok, there was still a lot of shit to work through but Faith was doing fine for now and Mikey was in jail and for now that would have to do but Bosco wasn't finished with him yet.  
  
He went to put his key in the door and noticed it wasn't locked. He was sure he locked it the night before so he went to grab his gun. "Shit" He forgot that he didn't have it on him. So he slowly opened the door and looked in. Everything was in place, he didn't see anybody but he did hear his stereo on low. He tried to think of who could be in his apartment but the only people who had a key to his place was Faith and his mother and his mother was still giving him the cold shoulder about arresting Mikey so he really didn't expect to see her over here now with the whole mess that they were in now.  
  
He walked in slowly and started to check the place out. He didn't see anyone. He had started to believe he left in such a hurry the night before that he must have left the stereo on and forgot to lock the door. It wasn't until he went into the living room again to shut off the stereo that he noticed the tiny figure curled up and asleep on his couch. 'What the hell is he doing here? Better yet how the hell did he get here?'  
  
He turned off the stereo and walked up to the couch sitting down on the edge of it. He gently shook the body and woke him up.  
  
"Charlie? Charlie wake up."  
  
Charlie slowly opened his eyes. When he realized it was Bosco he sat up and started hugging him.  
  
Bosco returning the hug gently asked "Charlie what are you doing here? How did you get here?"  
  
Pulling away Charlie looked down to the floor. "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't be here but I got scared and I feel safe here.....I....I snuck away from school during recess and took a taxi."  
  
"You took a taxi all the way from school!? Where did you get the money?" 'What kind of idiot's do they have in this city that are going to pick up a little kid from school and drop them off where ever they want?' He thought to himself.  
  
"I went and got some allowance money from my piggy bank before I left for school this morning....are you mad? I didn't mean to make you mad" He said quietly.  
  
"No Charlie I'm not mad, You know I could never be mad at you but you still shouldn't have done that. You know all you ever have to do is call no matter what I'll be there as fast as I can. You took a big chance coming all this way by yourself. What if something would have happened to you? Does anyone know you're here?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Well give me a second to phone Betty and the school and then we'll talk ok?"  
  
"Do I have to go back? I don't want to go back."  
  
"No you can stay here till tonight when I go and visit your mom, hows that sound?"  
  
Charlie's face lit up. "That'll be great!"  
  
Bosco got up and went to the bedroom and made the phone calls. Betty was shocked to hear that Charlie was over there the school hadn't even told her he was gone. The school got a piece of Bosco's mind. When everything happened with Fred he had left strict orders with the school not to let Emily or Charlie leave with anyone besides him, Faith or Betty and they were never to allow them to leave the school grounds by themselves. Faith had thought Bosco was over reacting when he told the school that but it was better to be safe then sorry.  
  
Bosco walked back into the living room and Charlie was still sitting on the couch. He sat down beside him and Charlie moved closer and leaned on him.  
  
"What's wrong Charlie?"  
  
"What if mom doesn't get better?....What if we have to go with dad? I don't want to go with him...please don't make me go with him." He said with fear and sadness in his voice.  
  
Bosco's heart was breaking. He and the kids had gotten closer those couple of weeks after Fred left. He had them and Faith stay with him until he was sure Fred was gone. He might have been over reacting like Faith had accused him of being but there was no way Fred would get near any of them again.  
  
"Charlie your mom will be fine but it's going to take awhile. There is nothing to worry about."  
  
"Are you sure? What about dad?"  
  
"I'm positive." He prayed that that wouldn't end up being a lie. "and don't worry about your dad, you won't ever have to live with him. I'll do everything in my power never to let him even see you guys again."  
  
"Why did he do it? Did he quit loving us?" he said quitely the second part almost unaudiable.  
  
"I don't know why he did it Charlie, I wish I knew why but I don't.....he didn't quit loving you guys he just got messed up." That was the best way he could think of putting it he couldn't really tell Charlie what he thought.  
  
He waited for another question but when he didn't get one he looked down and noticed that Charlie had fallen asleep again. He must not have slept good the night before but then again how could he have he had just found out his mother was shot.  
  
Bosco didn't move he just grabbed the blanket that was thrown over the top of the couch and covered Charlie. He started thinking of what happened that night with Fred and Faith, that night she called him at 3:30 in the morning fear and desperation in her voice....  
  
"Bos it's me.... I need you to come over here."  
  
He could hear the desperation in her voice so he didn't ask any questions he was already up and throwing on some clothes "Yeah Faith I'll be right there, Just sit tight okay, I'll be right there."  
  
When he had gotten there the door was locked tight and he couldn't hear anything. He knocked on the door "Faith it's me open up." He waited a few seconds and knocked again. "Faith, open up!"  
  
The door slowly opened but he didn't see her, he walked in and went to shut the door. That's when he saw her she had been behind the door. She was in her night shirt, she had tear stains down her cheeks her eyes were red from crying and she was shaking. Then he noticed it, she had a big bruises on her face, her eye was blackening, her lip was swollen and cut, blood was still dripping from it, he looked down to the rest of her and he saw busies on her arms fresh and fading ones. He recognized those kinds of bruise's it came from getting hit by a drunk. 'That son of a bitch'  
  
"Oh god Faith what happened? Did Fred do this? Where is he?" Bosco had never thought Fred capable of hitting her. Yeah when he drank he treated her like shit but when he was sober Faith was his world. And as far as Bosco knew Fred had been sober for quite awhile now. So what changed?  
  
Faith started crying again her knees weak she almost fell Bosco went up to her and held her. She collapsed in his arms. Crying even harder. He held her tight and ran his hand over her hair trying to comfort her. "It's ok Faith, everything will be ok." He stayed that way until she stopped crying. He led her to the couch and sat down with her. "Faith can you tell me what happened?"  
  
She didn't say anything at first.  
  
"Faith it's ok you can tell me."  
  
"When I got home from work he wasn't here and the kids were at Betty's. I went over and picked them up and put them to bed. I waited up for Fred. I was worried, it's not like him to be out this late and leave the kids with Betty without letting me know. It was about 3:00am when he got home, and he was drunk.....he's been drinking again for awhile but I haven't seen him that drunk in ages. He....he was angry, he came in and slammed the door and started yelling at me. I got up and went over to him to try and make him be quiet so he wouldn't wake up Em and Charlie. We started arguing and it kept getting worse and then before I could do anything he....he hit me." She started to cry again and she leaned into Bosco.  
  
"Shhh Faith it's going to be all right, I'm here now. He wont get near you again. I promise" He said as he was rubbing her back.  
  
"He hit me Bos...he hit me." Faith said in disbelief.  
  
Bosco remembering the fading bruises on her arms asked "Faith has he ever done something like this before?"  
  
"No.....not this bad. He never use to....it's only been this last time he started drinking...he would only grab my arm to tight or push me around but he never hit me....It's my fault Bos I should of left him when he first did it but but I thought it would only be that one time....but it wasn't....I thought he would get better again....be like he use to be."  
  
"Faith it's not your fault, It was never your fault. It's all his, he did this to you."  
  
It was killing Bosco to see her like this. It took a lot for Faith to break and Fred had managed to do it. "Where is Fred now Faith?" He was going to kill him when he found him. This was hitting to close to home for him. He saw a million times what Faith was going through with his own mother. He may not have been able to stop his dad but he sure the hell was going to stop Fred.  
  
"I...I don't know...after he was finished he took off....Bosco I never want to see him again."  
  
""It's ok Faith you won't have too. Did he touch Emily and Charlie?"  
  
"He pushed Emily when she came out and saw what he was doing and tried to stop him....and Charlie he...he saw him hit me and push Emily....Em is fine she wasn't hurt just shaken up...They're in their room right now. They are pretty scared."  
  
Still holding her he moved slightly and held up her chin and looked at her. "Faith everything is going to be okay. I promise." He wiped away the tears "Can you go and get dressed? I'll get the kids ready you guys will come stay over at my place okay?"  
  
Faith went to throw on a pair of jeans and he had went to get the kids ready to go. It didn't take long and they were heading to his place in no time.  
  
In the morning he told Faith that he was going to her place to meet a locksmith to get the locks changed.The locksmith wasn't due there for at least an hour and a half but Bosco went and waited, he knew that Fred would end up showing up. So he sat there watching the door just waiting for Fred to come in. He didn't have to wait long.  
  
The door opened and in walked Fred. Before Fred even knew what hit him Bosco was on top of him punching him. "Hows it feel huh! You Bastard! How could you do it? How could you hurt her like that?!" Bosco had quit hitting him but he was still on top of him. Fred was trying to get him off but there was no way Bosco was moving. Anger was in total control of him now.  
  
"I should have known she would run to you." Fred said disgusted "Maurice Boscorelli her fucking knight in shinning armour. Her hero. Why the hell can't she for once put me first? No, It's always you. For the life of me I can't see what she see's in you. You're like some kind of God in her eyes. You can never do anything wrong, for some stupid reason she believes in you. She needs you. She lives for you!"  
  
Bosco wasn't going to start arguing with Fred, Fred had this insane jealousy when it came to him and Faith. All he wanted to do was get him the hell out of town so he could never hurt Faith or the kids again.  
  
"You're going to get out of here and you are not going to come back, You're not going to try to go near Faith again got it! If you do I swear I'll kill you Fred. And if you don't think I wont, try me. I know places that they wont find your body for decades." He gave Fred another punch and got off of him and threw him out of the door....  
  
He awoke with a start, he looked at the clock it was a little bit after 8, he must have fallen asleep thinking about Fred. Charlie was still fast asleep beside him. He hated to wake him but he really needed to be getting back to the hospital so he gently shook Charlie awake again and he got changed and went to bring Charlie home. He had made Charlie promise not to run off like that again, to call him if he needed anything. He had told Charlie that he would pick him up after school tomorrow and they would spend a couple of hours together. When they had gotten back to Betty's Emily was still mad at him so Bosco didn't push it, he would have to give her time with it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He had gotten to the hospital and was rounding the hallway corner when he heard....  
  
I'm sorry sir but Officer Yokas can not have any visitors."  
  
"Don't tell me she can't have any visitors, she's my damn wife!" 


	13. Chapter 13

Shattered  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all belong to NBC, WB, John Wells and many more.  
  
Authors Note: Sorry for taking so long to update this story but I've been giving the phrase "Writers Block" a whole new meaning. So I hope this chapter ends up ok. I know you guys are probably getting sick of me and this story but have no fear it's starting to wined down. :) Thanks again for all the encouraging words.  
  
BTW some bad words in this chapter.  
  
Feedback: Still wanted desperately.  
  
E-mail: wine_into_water@hotmail.com  
  
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"Don't tell me she can't have any visitors, she's my damn wife!"  
  
He couldn't accept what he was hearing. He didn't need this right now. He just couldn't handle it and he knew that Faith wouldn't be able to handle it either. They had talked about what happened that night a few times and he knew that she wasn't ready to face him and in her condition it would be to much for her. There was no way that Fred was getting in there to see her.  
  
"Sir you can't go back there!" The nurse shouted as Fred pushed pass her.  
  
Bosco went up behind him and grabbed his arm and turned him around. An angry Fred came around swinging and caught Bosco in the jaw. Bosco stumbled backwards, he hadn't been expecting that. As Fred's fist connected with his jaw Bosco realized the pain Faith must have felt that night and rage over took him. He lunged towards Fred knocking him to the floor where both exchanged punches. Bosco could feel blood trickling down the side of his face and some of the deeper cuts in his hands had opened up again. His hands were so sore but he was too angry to care. Who the hell did Fred think he was to come back here? To even dare to try and see her again after what he did?  
  
Fred gave a strong push "Get the Fuck off of me you little prick"  
  
Bosco went flying off of him but he had got back on his feet right away. Fred was also back on his feet and was about to turn around to go and find Faith when security stopped him.  
  
"Let me go! She's my wife, I have every right to see her." He shouted angrily.  
  
They went to grab Bosco but he pulled out his badge and showed it to them so they let him go.  
  
After restraining Fred with a pair of handcuffs they turned to Bosco and asked "What should we do with him officer?"  
  
Bosco shot Fred a cold icy stare, "don't worry about it guys. I'll take it from here."  
  
"Sure thing officer. Let us know if you need anything."  
  
With that they just left Fred standing there. His face already bruising from the punches Bosco had gotten in, hands cuffed behind his back and a slight hint of fear could now be found in his eyes.  
  
Bosco let a smile cross his bloodied face 'this is to easy' he thought."Come on Freddy boy, time to go for a little ride." Bosco grabbed Fred and pushed him towards the elevators.  
  
Once in the parking lot he pushed Fred towards his car and went to open the passenger side door but he stopped. "No this isn't going to work. We're going to have to take your truck." He unlocked the door and reached into the glove compartment and pulled out his gun. Then he grabbed the clip laying beside it and loaded the gun. He tucked it behind him in his jeans. He shoved Fred again. "Come on lets go."  
  
He spotted Fred's truck at the other end of the parking lot and went in that direction. When he got there he searched Fred's pockets until he found the keys for the truck. He unlocked the door and shoved Fred inside banging his head in the process. "Oops did that hurt?" He asked with mock concern.  
  
He went around the truck and got in and started it up. He pulled out of the lot and began his way to the station. Fred had seemed to settle down a bit and eased up when he noticed that Bosco was taking the route to the station. As Bosco turned on to the street the station was on he slowed down but just as he was getting to it he stomped on the gas and sped out of there.  
  
"What the hell are you doing? Where the hell are you taking me?" Fred shouted.  
  
"Don't act all surprised Fred. You didn't actually think I was just going to lock you up and that would be the end of it did you? You remember what I said would happened if you ever came back and tried to see her again?"  
  
"You're fucking nuts!"  
  
"Maybe" Bosco said calmly.  
  
He could hear the fear coming out in Fred's voice, see it in his eyes. He was glad he was the one to put it there. He was going to teach Fred a lesson and this time he wouldn't be going to hurt Faith ever again.  
  
It was already starting to get dark as he pulled into an old abandoned factory parking lot by the river. He stopped the truck and turned it off. He got out and went to the passenger side, opened the door and let Fred out. He walked Fred to the middle of the parking lot and took off his cuffs. Fred whipped around ready to fight but Bosco had his gun drawn on him. Fred stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"I won't let you hurt them again." Bosco said quietly.  
  
"Look man I wont. I just came back to make sure Faith would be ok." Fred tried to speak as calmly as possible, he had never seen Bosco like this. He had no idea what he was capable of.  
  
"How could you do it? You loved her. I know you did so what made you do it?"  
  
Hanging his head down he said, "I don't know. It just happened. It just happened. I drank to much and it just happened."  
  
"That's not an excuse! Everyone thinks it's an excuse but it isn't! You just can't say it's because you drank to much one night."  
  
"Look I know Ok. I haven't touched a drop since...."  
  
"It doesn't matter...you didn't see her after. You didn't see the fear and sadness in her eyes. You didn't hear her crying herself to sleep. You didn't see her in the morning with her eye swollen shut, her face all colors of bruises, her lip swollen twice it's normal size....Do you know that Emily still jumps if you move to suddenly? Charlie still wakes up in the middle of the night crying and Faith....Faith still gets a lost look in her eyes every time we take a domestic abuse call and it's all because of you." Bosco ended angrily.  
  
"It won't happen again. It won't. I quit drinking. I swear it." he said full of remorse  
  
"Yeah until when? Huh? Until the next time you have a bad day at work? or the net time you watch the game with the guys? Or maybe the next hot day when nothing will cool you down like and icy cold one."  
  
"Look it's not your place to decide if she lets me back in her life. It's hers." Fred said getting angry.  
  
"You're wrong. It is my place. I would do anything for them. I would give up everything if it kept them safe. She's my best friend, my partner. She's the most important person in my life. I'm not going to give you the chance to take that sparkle out of her eyes again or take the confidence out of her smile....she loved you. All the shit you put her through and she still loved you." Shaking his head slightly he continued. "You don't deserve her Fred. You never did and you never will."  
  
"What, and you do?"  
  
"No, I don't. I don't deserve the confidence and respect she has for me. I don't deserve her friendship and loyalty. Most of all I don't deserve that place in her heart that she has just for me. But whether I deserve it or not she gives it to me, she's my saving grace and I'm not going to let you break her again."  
  
"It wont happen again, I promise."  
  
"Shut up! You're lying! You say it wont, you say you're sorry that it wont happen again but you always come back. You convince them that it's ok to trust you again and they let you back in and you do the same thing... I wont let you make Faith believe that the only way she is loved is if she someone is beating her and treating her like shit. You wont use Charlie and Emily like that either. You wont use them as punching bags and then lock them up in the closet, making them afraid of the dark or to keep the window open. I wont let you let them blame themselves for the rest of their lives thinking that there was something more they could have done, thinking if they had only been stronger, older that they could have kept you away."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? I never locked Em and Charlie in a closet, I only hit Faith that one time and I hate myself for it. Everyday I think of the pain I caused her and I wish I could take it all back but I can't. I just want to make things right. I just need to see her one more time, just let me see her one more time to say I'm sorry then I'll leave and I wont come back unless she wants me too." Fred was trying to plead his case.  
  
"No! No you're not getting to her again. You can't trick me this time. I'm not that little boy you can push around and manipulate anymore. I'm stronger now, I can stop you this time." Bosco said forcefully.  
  
"Boscorelli what are you talking about?" Fred asked worried not knowing what Bosco was talking about. It was like he drifted back to another place in time.  
  
"I can stop you this time..."  
  
A loud shot rang threw the cool night air.... 


	14. Chapter 14

Shattered  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Disclaimer: None of it is mine, I'm only borrowing the characters and having some fun with them.  
  
Authors note: This probably wasn't what you were expecting but I hope you enjoy it anyway :) Thanks so much for the kind reviews for the last chapter, I was worried about that one (as is this one) :)  
  
Feedback: Wanted always :)  
  
E-mail: wine_into_water@hotmail.com  
  
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"My god Bosco, what happened? What's wrong? You look like hell."  
  
Bosco slowly walked up to the side of her bed and sat down in the chair. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes.  
  
"Something is wrong with me Faith. I'm loosing control. I don't know what's happening to me....I'm scared Faith." He said quietly.  
  
"Bosco it'll be ok, just tell me what happened." She said trying to sound as reassuring as possible.  
  
"Last night when I went and talked with Mikey.....he was so cold. I didn't understand it. He hated me Faith. He hated me so much. He blamed me for everything, he said it was all my fault.....It wasn't my fault Faith, it wasn't. I thought he was telling the truth that he came back to see me. So I let him in....every time I let him" He said shaking his head. "I just wanted him to love me. To actually be there to see me. That's all I wanted. That's all I ever wanted."  
  
Faith reached over and touched his hand but he didn't look up he just kept talking.  
  
"Mikey kept throwing it in my face, kept telling me that I'm the reason you're in here. That I'm the reason ma got hurt all those times.....I couldn't listen to it anymore. Something happened and I grabbed him. I grabbed him and held him against the wall. I started squeezing his throat, harder and harder." His voice getting distant as he remembered he continued, "He was dying Faith. He was dying and I was the one killing him. If Sully hadn't shown up when he did I would have. I would have killed him Faith, my own brother. I would have killed him with my bare hands."  
  
"Bos..."  
  
He cut her off, "I didn't even realize it, It wasn't until Sully came in did I realize what I was doing. It was like something took me over.....What's wrong with me Faith? What if I can't control whatever this is and I end up like him. I don't want to end up like him Faith. I can't. I can't be like him. Please Faith I can't." He pleaded.  
  
With her heart breaking for him Faith ran her fingers through his hair trying to comfort him, "Bosco you have nothing to worry about your heart is to good to be like that. You've just had to much on your mind these last few days. That's all this is. You'll be fine Bos. We'll get you through this, everything will be ok. I promise."  
  
"No it wont Faith. It's to late for that."  
  
"Bosco it's not to late."  
  
Before she could continue he looked up and said, "Fred was here."  
  
Her face paled at the mention of his name, "What?"  
  
"When I got back here tonight he was here. He was trying to get past the nurses desk. I couldn't believe he was here. I was so angry, I stormed up to him and turned him around. He swung around and clipped me and then I knocked him down and we fought...."  
  
"Is that why your cut up and have that blood on you?" She asked sympathetically.  
  
He didn't even notice that he hadn't cleaned up yet. He had dried up blood on his face, his hands were all bloodied and his shirt had some on it.  
  
He nodded and continued on," Security came and broke us up. When they found out I was a cop they left Fred with me. They just left him there all cuffed up. So I figured this was the best time to give him a scare, teach him to never come back here. That's all I wanted to do was scare him, I swear it Faith. That's all....I drove him to that old abandoned factory down by the river" He paused for a moment and then continued. "I walked him to the middle of the parking lot and uncuffed him. But before he could turn around and start fighting again I pulled out my gun and held it to him."  
  
"Bosco what happened. What did you do?" Faith asked starting to get worried.  
  
"He started apologizing. Saying it would never happen again. That he only came back to make sure you were ok. That he would leave right after and not come back until you wanted him to. He said that he had quit drinking, that he was better and this time it would be different. All he wanted was for me to let him see you....He sounded just like him Faith, just like him. That's when something went wrong...Fred was gone and dad was there. Telling me everything I wanted to hear so that I'd let him back in but all I was thinking was this time I wouldn't let him. This time he wouldn't get near anyone I cared about. I was stronger now." He looked back down to the floor and continued, "I wanted to stop him for good this time, So he'd never come back. I hated him so much for what he did to us and this was my chance to get him back....I started to pull the trigger..."  
  
"Bos?" she asked quietly.  
  
"In that tiny moment of time it took to finish pulling it I saw Fred again and I realized what I was doing. I moved my hand in time. The bullet went right past him Faith. Another inch and I would have hit him.....I almost killed him Faith. I almost killed Emily and Charlie's father!...What the hell is wrong with me?"  
  
Reaching for his hand Faith said, "Bos it's going to be all right..."  
  
Shooting up from his chair and going to the foot of her bed, "It's not going to be all right Faith! It's not. There is something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it....I'm a cop Faith, I'm suppose to help people and look at me. All I do is hurt people, in the past three days I've almost killed three people...."  
  
"Three?" Faith cut in.  
  
"Yeah three Faith. You, Mikey and Fred."  
  
"Bosco we went over this. It wasn't your fault I got shot."  
  
"No Faith! No! It was and you can tell me over and over again that it wasn't. That there was nothing I could have done but it's not true. I'm the reason you're lying here and I know it. All these years I thought Fred was scum, an idiot for treating you and the kids like he did but it turns out I'm no better then him or my father. It just took me longer to realize it. I shouldn't have came back here this morning. I should have kept driving. I came back to make sure you would be protected from everything out there." He pointed to the window, "To protect you from bad guys from Fred and here all along I should have been protecting you from me. I'm the one you should be scared about. I wreck everyone I touch Faith. It may take awhile but I do. Mikey, Ma, You, everyone I touch Faith, Everyone." A tear slid down his check.  
  
"Charlie?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Have you wrecked Charlie?"  
  
Bosco just stood there and looked at her.  
  
"I talked to him tonight, he told me what happened today. All he could talk about was you Bosco. How you let him stay there and how you guys talked, how he fell asleep with you on the couch and he didn't have one bad dream, not one. How you're so cool you're like Super Man or something because you make him feel better, you make all the bad memories go away. He talked about how tomorrow you're picking him up after school and you guys are going to spend a couple of hours together, just him and you, going to the park or the movies or maybe even staying at home with you but that would be ok too as long as he was with you."  
  
Another tear slid down his cheek.  
  
"He thinks the world of you Bosco, he loves you....If you had the littlest bit of your father in you he wouldn't. He see's you Bosco. He's see's the real you just like I do. You have nothing to worry about Bosco because there isn't any way for you to become like your father, there just isn't...You've had a rough year and this last week only added to it but you're fine Bosco. You and me we'll get you through this. I promise." She gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
He walked over to the side of her bed and sat down again. He grabbed her hand in his and kissed it. He took a deep breath. Maybe she was right, maybe he would get through this and he'd be normal again. He looked up at her and saw those big blue eyes looking back at him. He smiled. There were no maybe's about it, He would get through this, he would get back to normal because she was here to help him through it. With her by his side there was nothing he couldn't do. 


	15. Chapter 15

Shattered  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. NBC and other people own it.  
  
Authors Note: As I was sitting down to write chapter 16 I realized as you guys probably did that chapter 15 wasn't really needed. All it did was open a new can of worms that really didn't need to be opened. So I'm asking for you to please forget that the previous Chapter 15 ever happened. Sorry for any confusion or irritation this may cause you but in my defense please remember I still pretty much suck at this writing thing.  
  
Feedback: Always wanted  
  
E-mail: wine_into_water@hotmail.com  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He rushed in through the locker room doors. If he didn't hurry he would be late for roll call. He ran over to his locker and threw off his shirt and grabbed his uniform shirt. He looked around but didn't see Faith she must have already been at roll call. He finished changing and went to roll call. Sure enough as he walked in he saw Faith sitting there talking with Davis. As he walked over to them he noticed that Sully wasn't there. He felt chill run through him. This was too familiar, too familiar to that day that he still tried to forget. As roll call went on he found out that Sully had taken the day off. But this time instead of jumping at the chance to work with Davis he stuck with Faith.  
  
Roll call had ended and they were heading out to the patrol cars when Faith caught up with him.  
  
"Hey what's with you today? It's like you've seen a ghost or something."  
  
"Huh? no nothings wrong, just tired I guess that's all."  
  
Faith shot him an disbelieving look but didn't say anything she just walked up to the drivers side of the squad car and got in. She called up, "You don't mind if I drive do you?"  
  
"No go ahead." he said as he climbed into the passengers side. Faith shot him another look at his willingness to let her drive. He didn't pay much attention to it though because he was already getting lost in his thoughts. It had been just over a year since that day. A year and 19 days actually. He knew he shouldn't dwell on it like he did but as much as he tried he couldn't completely let it go. Some days were better then others but for the most part Faith had been right, they had worked through everything. He had went to see a shrink after much persisting from Faith. That combined with his talks he had with Faith he had pretty much gotten over everything that led up to that day and the day it's self. As far as Faith knew though he was over it. He barley brought it up anymore. She had no clue just how often that day still crept back on him. It would hunt him like a bad nightmare. He could be standing in line at a store or at home watching TV and something would trigger off the memories of that night and the nights that followed. The night with Mikey, the night with Fred. Emily yelling that it was all his fault and that she hatted him. Faith flat lining at the scene. It would all rush back and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  
  
A lot had happened in the past year. Faith had gotten better. Clean bill of health. After the shooting it took awhile for her heart to get stronger but it did. She was back on desk duty after a couple months and a month after that she was okayed for patrol again. Which was a relief to him. He had missed being her partner. He had gotten shifted from one partner to the next while she was gone but none of them were the same as being partnered with Faith.  
  
Mikey was serving time for premeditated attempted murder on a police officer. It may not have really been premeditated but the story that Gusler spun at the trail convinced the jury it was and they found Mikey guilty in less then half an hour. He hadn't seen Mikey since that day in court or had talked to his mother since then either. Angela had blamed Bosco for Mikey's actions figuring that if he would have spent more time with him being more of a "brother" then none of this would have happened. But the final straw with her was that He didn't do a thing to help Mikey get out of jail. He couldn't believe that she actually thought he would after what he had done to Faith. So he washed his hands of them. He didn't need them. Not when he had real family like Faith and the kids or his friends.  
  
Fred...well Fred hadn't come back yet. He called Faith a couple of times but she told him that she didn't want to see him. She had asked the kids if they wanted to and they both said no. So he stayed away. Faith had received divorce papers a couple of months ago. She signed them without a second thought. She was through with Fred she was never going to give him that second chance he wanted so bad. Fred was out of her life for good.  
  
Emily and Charlie were doing great. Both were doing well in school. After seeing for herself that her mother was ok Emily finally gave in and forgave him but not without making him make a promise that he would always be there to protect her this time. He of course made that promise. He had made it to himself way before that even. He and Charlie still hung out quite a bit. Mostly on the weekends they would go out and have there "man" day. He had gotten close with both kids, more then he thought imaginable.  
  
So all in all things were going good. Maybe a little to good.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There shift had been going pretty slow. They just gotten off there supper break, they ended up going to Faiths favorite restaurant. They talked and joked around with each other. He was feeling a lot better then he was earlier in the shift. Gone was the uneasiness he had felt earlier and gone was the memories that had haunted him.  
  
As they were getting back to the squad car a call came over the radio. An armed robbery was in progress just down the street from where they were. They said that they would take it. Bosco got behind the wheel and sped off. As they arrived at the scene they saw the suspect running into a back ally. Bosco and Faith began to run after him but with the sun starting to set the ally was poorly lit, shadows were cast everywhere, corners were almost impossible to see into.  
  
They each began to walk down the ally. One on each side checking behind dumpsters and in doorways. They had checked about a quarter of the way through when Bosco heard a loud crash. He turned around to see what happened. He saw Faith lying on the cement her gun a few feet behind her, the suspect a few feet away with his gun aimed at her head. The suspect turned to Bosco, "Drop your gun. Now!"  
  
Bosco just stood there, his gun still drawn.  
  
Turning his gun back on Faith, cocking the trigger the suspect spoke, "Now or she gets it!"  
  
Bosco looked down at Faith. There was no way she could defend herself, it was all up to him. He looked back towards the man. He could tell this guy was serious. There was no way he would be able to get a shot off before the guy shot Faith and he was too close to her. If he did shoot and hit her where he was aiming, she wouldn't survive. He was sure of it. So he did the only thing he could do. He lifted up his hands and slowly dropped his gun to the pavement.  
  
"Good now get over here?" The man demanded as he motioned with his gun.  
  
Bosco slowly and cautiously walked over to Faith. He held out his hand to help her up once he reached her. She had accepted his hand and stood up. It appeared that the fall she had taken hadn't injured her.  
  
"Back up!"  
  
He and Faith slowly started backing up. Remembering that Faiths gun was lying a little further back and to the side he looked at Faith. He could tell by the look in her eyes that they were both thinking the same thing. As they got closer to were the gun was lying he looked behind the gunman and slightly nodded his head. Playing right into there hands the suspect whirled around to see if there were any cops behind him. Faith dived for the gun. Hearing the notice the suspect turned back around and pulled the trigger. A shot rang out.  
  
In reality it all happened in a matter of seconds but for Bosco it took what seemed like hours. He saw the suspect turn back around. He saw Faith getting to her gun but not having the time to have picked it up yet. He saw the suspect pulling the trigger. He saw Faith in the direct line of fire.  
  
'Not this time. I wont let it happen again this time Faith. I promise'  
  
Without a second thought he took a step forward, stepping in front of Faith. He felt a sudden pain in his neck followed by something warm trickling down it. He put his hand to his neck were he felt the pain. As he pulled it away he saw that bright red blood stained his hand. He felt himself getting weaker, he fell to the ground. As he was falling he heard another gun shot.  
  
'No. Please no!'  
  
"Faith?...Faith?" He whispered hoarsely  
  
Kneeling down behind him she lifted his head to her lap and applied pressure to his neck, "Bos...oh god Bos hang on. Help will be here soon. Just hang on. Please just hang on."  
  
"Faith are you ok?"  
  
"I'm fine Bos, don't worry about me. Just stay still, you'll be fine."  
  
"Swear to me Faith. Swear to me you're ok."  
  
"Bosco I'm fine. I Swear. I don't have a scratch on me. Now please just lay still and be quiet until help gets here." She said through tears.  
  
A smile appeared on his lips. Slowly he spoke, "I kept my promise Faith. I saved you this time. I didn't let him get to you Faith. I didn't."  
  
"Bos don't." Tears coming more forcefully down her cheeks.  
  
"Shh Faith please don't cry. I'm going to be fine because your ok, I'm going to be fine." He felt himself getting weaker. He wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. It was strange he didn't feel the pain anymore. He felt fine. For the first time in months he felt at peace with himself, he had kept his promise. He had kept her safe and by doing that he was finally able to forgive himself for that night a year ago.  
  
He could hear the sirens coming in the distance but he knew they wouldn't get there in time. With all the strength he had left he reached for her hand and he looked up into those bright blue eyes that had saved him so many times before. He felt a warm tear hit his cheek. He gently squeezed her hand and before his world faded to darkness he whispered,  
  
"Good bye Faith."  
  
~*~  
  
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons  
  
Finally content with a past I regret  
  
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
  
For once I'm at peace with myself  
  
I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long  
  
I'm moving on  
  
~*~ 


	16. Chapter 15

WARNING!  
  
This is not a new chapter well it is the new chapter 15 but that is also posted on the chapter 15 page. In order to move up the page so all you would know chapter 15 has been redone i had to upload something instead of just edit it. I tried just taking the chapter down and reloading but apparently that could cause the whole stroy to disappear which explains how i goofed on GMB :) So when i do get chapter 16 done i'll upload that one then take this page down so it all works out...did that just make any sense?.....oh well if you haven't read the new chapter just continue on here :)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shattered  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. NBC and other people own it.  
  
Authors Note: As I was sitting down to write chapter 16 I realized as you guys probably did that chapter 15 wasn't really needed. All it did was open a new can of worms that really didn't need to be opened. So I'm asking for you to please forget that the previous Chapter 15 ever happened. Sorry for any confusion or irritation this may cause you but in my defense please remember I still pretty much suck at this writing thing.  
  
Feedback: Always wanted  
  
E-mail: wine_into_water@hotmail.com  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He rushed in through the locker room doors. If he didn't hurry he would be late for roll call. He ran over to his locker and threw off his shirt and grabbed his uniform shirt. He looked around but didn't see Faith she must have already been at roll call. He finished changing and went to roll call. Sure enough as he walked in he saw Faith sitting there talking with Davis. As he walked over to them he noticed that Sully wasn't there. He felt chill run through him. This was too familiar, too familiar to that day that he still tried to forget. As roll call went on he found out that Sully had taken the day off. But this time instead of jumping at the chance to work with Davis he stuck with Faith.  
  
Roll call had ended and they were heading out to the patrol cars when Faith caught up with him.  
  
"Hey what's with you today? It's like you've seen a ghost or something."  
  
"Huh? no nothings wrong, just tired I guess that's all."  
  
Faith shot him an disbelieving look but didn't say anything she just walked up to the drivers side of the squad car and got in. She called up, "You don't mind if I drive do you?"  
  
"No go ahead." he said as he climbed into the passengers side. Faith shot him another look at his willingness to let her drive. He didn't pay much attention to it though because he was already getting lost in his thoughts. It had been just over a year since that day. A year and 19 days actually. He knew he shouldn't dwell on it like he did but as much as he tried he couldn't completely let it go. Some days were better then others but for the most part Faith had been right, they had worked through everything. He had went to see a shrink after much persisting from Faith. That combined with his talks he had with Faith he had pretty much gotten over everything that led up to that day and the day it's self. As far as Faith knew though he was over it. He barley brought it up anymore. She had no clue just how often that day still crept back on him. It would hunt him like a bad nightmare. He could be standing in line at a store or at home watching TV and something would trigger off the memories of that night and the nights that followed. The night with Mikey, the night with Fred. Emily yelling that it was all his fault and that she hatted him. Faith flat lining at the scene. It would all rush back and there was nothing he could do to stop it.  
  
A lot had happened in the past year. Faith had gotten better. Clean bill of health. After the shooting it took awhile for her heart to get stronger but it did. She was back on desk duty after a couple months and a month after that she was okayed for patrol again. Which was a relief to him. He had missed being her partner. He had gotten shifted from one partner to the next while she was gone but none of them were the same as being partnered with Faith.  
  
Mikey was serving time for premeditated attempted murder on a police officer. It may not have really been premeditated but the story that Gusler spun at the trail convinced the jury it was and they found Mikey guilty in less then half an hour. He hadn't seen Mikey since that day in court or had talked to his mother since then either. Angela had blamed Bosco for Mikey's actions figuring that if he would have spent more time with him being more of a "brother" then none of this would have happened. But the final straw with her was that He didn't do a thing to help Mikey get out of jail. He couldn't believe that she actually thought he would after what he had done to Faith. So he washed his hands of them. He didn't need them. Not when he had real family like Faith and the kids or his friends.  
  
Fred...well Fred hadn't come back yet. He called Faith a couple of times but she told him that she didn't want to see him. She had asked the kids if they wanted to and they both said no. So he stayed away. Faith had received divorce papers a couple of months ago. She signed them without a second thought. She was through with Fred she was never going to give him that second chance he wanted so bad. Fred was out of her life for good.  
  
Emily and Charlie were doing great. Both were doing well in school. After seeing for herself that her mother was ok Emily finally gave in and forgave him but not without making him make a promise that he would always be there to protect her this time. He of course made that promise. He had made it to himself way before that even. He and Charlie still hung out quite a bit. Mostly on the weekends they would go out and have there "man" day. He had gotten close with both kids, more then he thought imaginable.  
  
So all in all things were going good. Maybe a little to good.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There shift had been going pretty slow. They just gotten off there supper break, they ended up going to Faiths favorite restaurant. They talked and joked around with each other. He was feeling a lot better then he was earlier in the shift. Gone was the uneasiness he had felt earlier and gone was the memories that had haunted him.  
  
As they were getting back to the squad car a call came over the radio. An armed robbery was in progress just down the street from where they were. They said that they would take it. Bosco got behind the wheel and sped off. As they arrived at the scene they saw the suspect running into a back ally. Bosco and Faith began to run after him but with the sun starting to set the ally was poorly lit, shadows were cast everywhere, corners were almost impossible to see into.  
  
They each began to walk down the ally. One on each side checking behind dumpsters and in doorways. They had checked about a quarter of the way through when Bosco heard a loud crash. He turned around to see what happened. He saw Faith lying on the cement her gun a few feet behind her, the suspect a few feet away with his gun aimed at her head. The suspect turned to Bosco, "Drop your gun. Now!"  
  
Bosco just stood there, his gun still drawn.  
  
Turning his gun back on Faith, cocking the trigger the suspect spoke, "Now or she gets it!"  
  
Bosco looked down at Faith. There was no way she could defend herself, it was all up to him. He looked back towards the man. He could tell this guy was serious. There was no way he would be able to get a shot off before the guy shot Faith and he was too close to her. If he did shoot and hit her where he was aiming, she wouldn't survive. He was sure of it. So he did the only thing he could do. He lifted up his hands and slowly dropped his gun to the pavement.  
  
"Good now get over here?" The man demanded as he motioned with his gun.  
  
Bosco slowly and cautiously walked over to Faith. He held out his hand to help her up once he reached her. She had accepted his hand and stood up. It appeared that the fall she had taken hadn't injured her.  
  
"Back up!"  
  
He and Faith slowly started backing up. Remembering that Faiths gun was lying a little further back and to the side he looked at Faith. He could tell by the look in her eyes that they were both thinking the same thing. As they got closer to were the gun was lying he looked behind the gunman and slightly nodded his head. Playing right into there hands the suspect whirled around to see if there were any cops behind him. Faith dived for the gun. Hearing the notice the suspect turned back around and pulled the trigger. A shot rang out.  
  
In reality it all happened in a matter of seconds but for Bosco it took what seemed like hours. He saw the suspect turn back around. He saw Faith getting to her gun but not having the time to have picked it up yet. He saw the suspect pulling the trigger. He saw Faith in the direct line of fire.  
  
'Not this time. I wont let it happen again this time Faith. I promise'  
  
Without a second thought he took a step forward, stepping in front of Faith. He felt a sudden pain in his neck followed by something warm trickling down it. He put his hand to his neck were he felt the pain. As he pulled it away he saw that bright red blood stained his hand. He felt himself getting weaker, he fell to the ground. As he was falling he heard another gun shot.  
  
'No. Please no!'  
  
"Faith?...Faith?" He whispered hoarsely  
  
Kneeling down behind him she lifted his head to her lap and applied pressure to his neck, "Bos...oh god Bos hang on. Help will be here soon. Just hang on. Please just hang on."  
  
"Faith are you ok?"  
  
"I'm fine Bos, don't worry about me. Just stay still, you'll be fine."  
  
"Swear to me Faith. Swear to me you're ok."  
  
"Bosco I'm fine. I Swear. I don't have a scratch on me. Now please just lay still and be quiet until help gets here." She said through tears.  
  
A smile appeared on his lips. Slowly he spoke, "I kept my promise Faith. I saved you this time. I didn't let him get to you Faith. I didn't."  
  
"Bos don't." Tears coming more forcefully down her cheeks.  
  
"Shh Faith please don't cry. I'm going to be fine because your ok, I'm going to be fine." He felt himself getting weaker. He wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. It was strange he didn't feel the pain anymore. He felt fine. For the first time in months he felt at peace with himself, he had kept his promise. He had kept her safe and by doing that he was finally able to forgive himself for that night a year ago.  
  
He could hear the sirens coming in the distance but he knew they wouldn't get there in time. With all the strength he had left he reached for her hand and he looked up into those bright blue eyes that had saved him so many times before. He felt a warm tear hit his cheek. He gently squeezed her hand and before his world faded to darkness he whispered,  
  
"Good bye Faith."  
  
~*~  
  
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons  
  
Finally content with a past I regret  
  
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
  
For once I'm at peace with myself  
  
I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long  
  
I'm moving on  
  
~*~ 


	17. Chapter 16

Shattered  
  
Final Chapter  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything concerning Third Watch. I'm just borrowing the characters and playing with them for a bit.  
  
Author's note is at the bottom of the page.  
  
Feedback: Always wanted and appreciated  
  
E-Mail: Wine_into_water@hotmail.com  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The sun was shinning, a warm breeze was blowing, birds singing, children playing. It was a perfect day....a perfect day for everyone else except her.  
  
She walked along the grass not stopping until she reached the old oak tree that stood beside the fence. She had been caring two beers, she twisted the caps off both and sat one down beside him. Keeping the other she took a huge gulp as she sat down in the shade by the trunk of the tree.  
  
"Happy Anniversary" She said as she gave him a cheers.  
  
It had taken most of the day for her to get the nerve to come here. She had taken the day off work, the kids were at the nieghbours and she...she was here. After a year she had finally gotten enough courage to face him. Maybe courage wasn't the right word, maybe she was finally angry enough or maybe she finally had enough pretending that she was fine. That she had coped with it all. That she was ready to leave the past were it was and move on. She wasn't quite sure her reason for finally showing up but she knew that if she was ever going to it would have to be today.  
  
She let out a sigh, leaned back on the tree, closed her eyes and let the memories come rushing back like they always did....She had just reached her gun...she almost had it in her hands....she looked behind her...the suspect had a his gun on her...he was pulling the trigger....she didn't have time to do anything.....she heard the loud sound of the gun going off....Bosco stepping in front of her.....blood spurting out of his neck....him falling to the ground.....the gunman still standing there with his gun....her pulling the trigger on her gun that she finally picked up....the gunman falling to the ground, she had shot him in the heart....she rushed over to Bosco....there had been so much blood.....so much blood....she tried to stop it but it was coming out to fast to strong....he was bleeding to death and still he asked her if she was ok....his voice only a strained whisper....he made her swear that she was fine....he said he had kept his promise....told her not to cry or worry that he'd be fine because.....because she was fine...she couldn't understand how he could be thinking of her at a time like this....his eye lids slowly starting to drift shut....the blood...the blood starting to slow down....he reached for her hand....she heard sirens getting closer....he just had to hold on for a couple more minutes, just a couple more minutes....he squeezed her hand...then....then he with his soft fading voice he said...."Good bye Faith"  
  
"Damn you!... DAMN YOU BOSCO!" she shouted as she took her beer bottle and threw it. Shattering it to pieces as it hit his head stone. "Damn you." She softly said as she began to cry.  
  
The bus pulled in a minute later. Carlos and Doc came rushing over to Bosco. They kneeled down to work on him. Stopping they both looked at each other then Doc looked up at her, his eyes full of sadness and regret. He shook his head, "I'm sorry Faith."  
  
"No! No you're wrong! He's fine. He's going to be fine!"  
  
Doc stood up and walked towards her. He went to touch her hand.  
  
"No, don't touch me!" She said as she slowly backed away, "Go over there and help him!...Please?!....Please just help him!" She pleaded as she kept backing away. She backed into something and fell to the ground. "Please Doc, go over there and help him....Please!"  
  
Doc kneeled in front of her, "I'm sorry Faith. Their was nothing we could have done."  
  
She began to cry even harder. Doc held her and tried to comfort her but it didn't help anything. She kept looking past him, looking past him to Bosco. He was laying there in a pool of blood, he wasn't moving. He was pale and still. Time passed, people came and went. Cops taking pictures trying to ask her questions but she didn't hear them. She just stayed there where she had fallen and kept looking at Bosco. Finally everything was done and Carlos had came back with a body bag. He unzipped it and laid it beside Bosco. He was about to start moving Bosco into it.  
  
"NO! You can't! You can't...please don't."  
  
Carlos stopped what he was doing and looked over to Doc who was standing by her.  
  
"He...he doesn't like the dark. You can't put him in there. Please Doc?"  
  
"It's ok Faith, we wont." He motioned for Carlos to put the bag away and then went to load him on a stretcher. They put him on the bus and shut the doors. She watched as they pulled away.  
  
That's all she could remember until she got home. It was late by then and she hadn't planed on telling the kids until morning but Charlie must have heard her come in because he came running out of his room holding a card that he and Emily had made for Bosco. "Mom! Mom! Look! Em and I made this tonight. It's for uncle Bos. We thought we'd give it to him tomorrow when he picks us up to go to the park. What do you think mom? It's not much just a card telling him we love him and to thank him for always being around.....Mom what's wrong? Why are you crying? Bosco is still coming over tomorrow right, you guys didn't have a fight or anything did you? He said he was taking us to the park and we would all play catch."  
  
"Charlie honey is Emily still up?"  
  
"I don't know. You want me to go see?"  
  
"Yeah would you please."  
  
Charlie came running back into the room, "Nope she's sleeping."  
  
"Well I guess I'll tell her later....Why don't you come sit down with me on the couch....Charlie something happened tonight, something really bad."  
  
"What mom?"  
  
"It's...it's Bosco he...he got hurt really bad."  
  
"He's going to be fine though right?...Isn't he?....Mom?"  
  
"No Charlie he isn't...he....he died."  
  
"No he didn't. He didn't because he said he'd take us to the park tomorrow he wouldn't break a promise....Mom?... Mom he didn't." He said as he shook his head and began to cry.  
  
Hugging Charlie and stroking his hair she said, "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry."  
  
From behind a quiet voice said, "Mom?"  
  
She just looked over to Emily. Emily knew that she was telling the truth. Emily ran over to them, She opened up her arms and let Emily join in the hug she was giving Charlie. Both kids were crying. The card that Charlie and Emily made slipped to the floor, opening up to a red construction paper heart that said, 'We love you Bosco'  
  
"Do you know how many nights they cried themselves to sleep after that night? Huh?... Do you know how many times I catch myself watching the locker room doors thinking that you'll run in at the last minute like always? It's been a year, a whole year Bos and I still do it. But you never do, you never come in through those doors...You know I still dial up your number when I need to talk to someone but guess what? You're not there, you never answer....How could you do this to me Bosco? How could you leave me here? We were partners. We're suppose to stick by each other but you bailed Bosco, you bailed!" She wiped the tears from her face and continued, "I HATE YOU! I hate you for leaving me alone without my best friend. I hate you for being so damn proud and keeping your promise to keep me safe.....I know it sounds selfish and awful but I can't help it, it's true." She hated herself for hating him but as much as she tried she couldn't shake the feeling of being betrayed. She knew he did it to save her, but why? Why keep her safe if this was the outcome, if all this pain she felt wouldn't go away, not even a little.  
  
The funeral had ended up being a big one. A lot of people had showed up. Bosco had died a "hero" so he was buried as one. He got the whole works. He deserved it. His mother or father hadn't shown up for it. In fact she still hadn't heard a word about them or Mikey. She just couldn't understand how they couldn't have went to his funeral. He was their son. She had known about Bosco's past, the beatings the neglect but she hadn't really understood what he must have felt all his life until then. They didn't even care enough to say good bye.  
  
It was weird, the more she lived without him the more she seemed to understand him. All those years they had been partners she had thought she had gotten a pretty good clue to who the real Maurice Boscorelli was but there was still more to learn. She had went to his apartment to clear it out. It turned out that he had left everything to her and the kids. He had even left his car to Charlie because he had loved it so much. Well Charlie wouldn't be able to drive it for awhile but he had said that she could providing she took care of it. She grinned at the memory. As she went through his stuff she found a pale blue envelope with her name written on it.  
  
She sat forward and dug in her purse pulling out the envelope. She had never had the courage to open it. Something inside her thought that once she had read it that would be it. She would have to say good bye for good this time. She didn't know if she was ready.  
  
With shaking hands she opened up the envelope and pulled out the letter and as she began to read it she heard his voice...  
  
~*~  
  
Dear Faith,  
  
I don't know why I'm writing this, we both know I'm not the letter type but it's almost four in the morning and I'm sitting here watching you sleep and I figured now was as good a time as any.  
  
I guess this letter is to thank you for always being there for me. I realized I have never really told you that, sure I may have hinted to it, tried to say it but you know me chances are I didn't get it out, not the way it was suppose to sound anyway. So I figured I would tell you here, like this. That way I don't have to worry about making a fool out of myself because by the time you ever read this I wont be around.  
  
You are my best friend Faith, the only real friend I ever had. Without you I don't know what would have happened to me. You kept me grounded. I can't thank you enough for that. Times when I just wanted to give up, you kept me going. I don't think I can ever make you understand just what you did for me. All my life I felt like I wasn't wanted, just a waste of space, nothing good was ever going to become of me. Then I met you and right from the start I knew we would be friends, there was just something about you that made you different from anyone else I had ever known. You gave me chance Faith, you took the time to get through all the shit I dished out to protect myself. No body else had ever thought I was worth the effort. You made me feel like I mattered, that I was worth something, you even got me believing it. We've had our fights, said things we wished we could take back but through it all you've stuck by me. I can never repay you for that. As much as I try nothing will come close to giving you back what you gave me. Thank you Faith.  
  
Love Always,  
  
Bosco  
  
PS  
  
Tell Emily and Charlie I love them.  
  
~*~  
  
Tears began to sting her eyes again. One fell on to the letter as she stared at it. She read it over again.  
  
"How could you think you could never repay me Bos? You did a million times over. I wish you would have known. I wish I would have told you so.....I'm sorry Bos."  
  
A soft wind blew. She was right, reading the letter meant she had to say good bye. Move on with her life she had to let him go. She had understood him now. Why protecting her was so important to him. She could never hold that against him again. But even when she had, even if she thought she hated him it was just her way of holding on to him. It was wrong but it was all she had but now she had something new. She had a new understanding. She had always known what they meant to each other. They didn't have to say it. But reading it reminded her of just how much they had. She had been angry at him for so long that she forgot.  
  
She carefully folded up the letter and placed it back in her purse. She flipped through some papers and pulled out a worn wallet size picture of her and the kids. A picture that was taken at the park a few years before. She wiped away her tears and gave a small smile, "I found this when they gave me your belongings. I thought you might want it back. " She dug some dirt away from the head stone with her hands and placed it in the hole and covered back it back up. "We're always with you Bosco, always."  
  
"and I'm always with you guys, always"  
  
She looked around, she could have sworn she heard him say that but of course he wasn't there. Just her mind playing tricks on her again.  
  
She got up and picked up the shattered pieces of glass and threw them out. She came back to where she had been sitting. She was happy she had come here today. She was feeling much better about it all. She still missed him, still wished he would run in a minute before roll call and that everything would be ok. But she was ready to forget all the bad memories, forget that night and only remember the good times. She was ready to start moving on. She owed it to him. He didn't give up his life for her just to have her hate it or dread everyday that came.  
  
It was getting late. She had to be getting home but before she left. She kissed her hand and placed it on his name.  
  
"Good bye Bosco."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Authors note: Well if you finished reading this chapter after you found out I killed Bosco thank you. But I want to explain myself. You have no clue what a hard decsion this was. All along since I kept Faith alive (the whole point of this story when I first started was to kill her off before Bosco had a chance to make things right between them, then how it affected him) I had this idea about Bosco only being able to forgive himself was to save Faith at all cost and be totally ok with it. In fact most of this chapter was written before I posted the last one. When I read your reviews and saw you wanted Bosco to live I thought maybe he should. I know what it's like to invest your time in a story to only be let down at the end and I hate that so I went and wrote a version where he did live. but I just couldn't get it to where I wanted it. Then I thought of waiting and posting both versions and let you decide which one you liked better but in the end I posted this one. I just thought it suited the story better. I'm sorry if I let you down. If you absolutely hate this version then I could rework the "alive" one and post it up instead.  
  
I want to thank you all for the kind and encouraging words through out this story. You have no idea what it meant to have your support. I enjoyed writing this story and I am glad that you enjoyed reading it. I never thought I could write a fanfic but I gave it a try anyway so thank you for hanging in there. Hopefully the ending to this one wont discourage you to read any other stories I may come up with. 


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